Match Day Thread Southampton vs Wolves, 13/04/19, 15:00

Hello fine readers, and welcome to the penultimate penultimate home game of the season, where the Rabbit tames the Wolves. It's LTL's take on -

THE SAINTS



Wolves




Officials -

Referee: Jonny Toss
Assistants: Fred Perry, Constantine Offside
Fourth official: Andre Fisherman


I felt the tie would be best served up by way of poetry. The type of poetry that our own Rabbit likes to serve up on the pitch. The type of poetry the romance of the name 'Ward-Prowse' would conjure. With apologies to Roald Dahl -


As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Yoshi's door.
When Stephens opened it, he saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, 'May I come in?''

Poor Jacky boy was terrified,
'He's going to score a goal!'' he cried.
And he was absolutely right.
Because the Saints defence was ****e.
But Valery was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, 'That's not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
Safe at only one-neel!'' (sorry, he has a Spanish accent does Jimenez)

He ran around, passed back to Ruddy,
Who knocked it forwards to his buddy.
Squared it then to Willy Boly,
A name that makes me feel quite jolly.

Till Little Miss Ralph Riding Hood
Came home from walking in the wood.
He quickly put on Fonte's clothes,
(Of course Moss hadn't noticed those).
He dressed himself in cloak and hat.
On the pitch, invisible like that.
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Till David Luiz thought, 'I'm over there'.
In came the little Ings in red.
He stopped. He stared. Put it to bed,

"What great ambitions you have, Wolves.''
"All the better to beat you with,'' the Wolf replied.
"What great big debts you have, Wolves.''
said Little Ralph Riding Hood.
"All the better to buy you with,'' the Wolf replied.

He sat there watching them and smiled.
For summer targets he'd compiled.
Compared with old Sparky Hughes,
Who wasn't fit to lace his shoes.

Then Little Ralph Riding Hood said, "But Grandma,
what a lovely great big goals I spy.''

"That's wrong!'' cried Wolf. "Have you forgotten
We're passing up to Diego Jota?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
We're going to score anyway.''
The Austrian smiles. One eyelid flickers.
He whips young Redmond from his knickers.
He aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, 4-1 to reds.

A few weeks later, down in the South,
I came across the man named Ralph.
But what a change! No Fonte cloak,
But still an amusing Austrian joke.
He said, "Hello, and do please hear
In Europe we shall be next year.''

 

Superb!

 

Redmond in Ralph's knickers,oh no!

 

He's just put in a transfer request!

 

If for some strange reason anyone was wondering about the origin (oranges for Trumpians) of this rhyme, it’s from Roald Dahl’s take on Red Riding Hood -

https://ace.home.xs4all.nl/Literaria/Txt-Dahl.html

 

Poor magic

 

He had his chance!

 

This time or the last one?

Time before?

 

Someone has too much time on their hands... haha.

Missing this one unfortunately but shall be watching the highlights of our 3-1 victory on MOTD.

 

Maybe next season

 

Tough but winnable if we turn up

 

27 minutes I’ll have you know!

 

Haha, good effort!

 

I will be there so that means we will win.

 

Regardless of the result, if Cardiff haven't closed the gap on us come 5pm on Saturday we'll have taken another step closer to survival.

Ings back. Wolves on a downer. We can win.

 

I won’t, so you’re probably right.

 

Ian has convinced me. We are doomed.

 

Don’t worry, Ralph has ditched the rotation policy that he never had in the first place.

 

Antepenultimate, the first of three home wins to end the St Mary's season. COYR!!