Match Day Thread Southampton vs Manchester United, Saturday 23rd September, 15:00

Hello again and welcome fellow Saints fans, sufferers, stray young Pompey supporters, Matth and probably some berks from Liverpool. It's time for the LTL match thread, the second of a run of 26 to come.

Saints Last Three

DO NOT MATTER COS YOU'RE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST GAME.

Which conveniently we won. With an actual goal. Dismantling the wise old owl's Crystal Palace side 1-0, with a truly legendary performance from new hero and saviour of the world. I mean that too. We could send Mario Lemina over to North Korea right now and he'd get **** done. We could send him to America, he'd blow away any oncoming hurricanes whilst turning the mangled apricot's measly little hands away from Twitter.

Hoedt was good too.

Anyhow, point being, we're on a roll. Let's continue that.

Manchester United's last one

A slightly flattering 4-0 victory over Clare Balding's Everton side.


A disappointed Ronald Koeman following the 4-0 defeat.

Notes on the opposition

Manchester (pronounced /ˈsʌri/ ) is a place somewhere in the North West of England, and is the spawning ground for most angry musicians in the world. Except for Van Morrison. He's not from Manchester, but he might as well be.

It's actually not too bad up there. I'd go so far as to say it's quite fun, though it officially rains on over 96% of the days, which is likely why so many musicians are pissed off. Travis did a song called "why does it always rain on me" after visiting Manchester for a week. However it's an absolutely **** song, and I'd suggest you never listen to it.

Manchester United however are not really Mancunian in the purest sense. Mancunians tend to like Manchester City, and United, in a twist of irony considering their name, only really unite everyone in disliking them.

Manchester United are owned now by a cabal of window fitters from America called the Glazers. Formally known as Everest, they form the reason behind the universal dislike of Manchester United, as they always used to phone you during Sunday lunch to enquire as to whether "you'd like your windahs done".

Inventively though, Man United (as lazy people label them, and I'm essentially getting tired of typing it all out) have in their recent past tried to turn the negative perception of the club around by choosing celebrity managers through an X-Factor style vote for the public, which met with a long period of success when they appointed Black Eyed Peas stalwart, Fergie, as steward for what basically feels like forever.

However, latterly a short run with Gollum in charge was deemed a failure, and and a further vote was sabotaged by Manchester City fans and Vladimir Putin, which led to two years under Jabba The Hut.

In an effort to rectify this, The Glazers (nee Everest) have turned back to more handsome prospects by appointing Peruvian crooner, Jose Eglesias, a man to whom success is a birthright.


Jose Eglesias, Manchester United's latest manager

Danger Men

United's front line is led by the powerful Belgian striker Romelu Lukaku. It's a little known fact that Belgium is not Holland, and that Lukaku is what Belgian children are taught to say when they have their first successful visit to their potty.

Lukaku is ably fed his bullets to score with by Scottish inside left, Henry McTarrian and Spaniard, Juan Mata, who looks a little to me like a slimmed down version of Neighbours stalwart, Toadfish.

In physical terms, our players will need to watch out for violence bringer, and mafia enforcer Mo "Elbows" Fellaini.

A goal what we scored once against them

Officials

Dunno

Likely line up

Being serious for a second. Interesting one. I'd get Gabbi back in the team up top, despite the excellent performance of Shane Long in the last game. Manolo likes scoring against this lot.

Forster
Cedric Yoshi Hoedt Berty

God Romeu

JWP Davis Tadic

Gabbigoal



Fallen angel Virgil still on the bench for this one.

Prediction

You know what. I didn't think they were all that against Everton. I mean, they're good, but we could actually beat them.

2-0 Saints and another match thread to come.


COYR

 

Another great thread LTL

 

Cracking effort again LTL

Some won't like this but can only see a defeat here, a possession team who struggle to score is bread and butter for a Mourinho side, can see a comfortable 2/3-0 win. Will be no shame in that mind, very strong side and the team who I fancy to win the league.

Team selection is an interesting like you say, I would also have Gabbi back in but would be tempted to keep Long in in place of Redmond.

 

They have been absolutely fantastic so far this season to be fair. Would be ecstatic with a point.
Never realised how much Koeman looks like balding Strong effort LTL

 

Yeah completely different to the team who came down in May with a cup final on their mind, can't see us getting anything.

 

Ref: Craig Pawson
Assistants: Ian Hussin, Constantine Hatzidakis
4th official: Mike Jones

Copyright: SaintDon13

 

Madeley one week, Pawson next. Bloody hell there's some poor officials in this league.

 

1-1
I think we are going to frustrate them.

 

Let's take that and call the game off. Would suit me.

 

Everyone who started saturday deserve to start again, except Redmond. I would drop him and play Gabbi, and play Tadic left and Long right. I would be sorely tempted to bring back VVD in place of Yoshi

 

Stuart Burt is not running the line, we have nothing to fear.......

 

You heard it here first.

Utd 1-0 up and cruising until the 83rd min. We then equalise and go on to win 4-1 in the remaining time. Then I wake up.

 

Is it just me, but close your eyes and listen to MP2. Can you hear Gus Poyet? (I know wrong country, same continent). Maybe that is why MP1 kept quiet and spoke only to David.

 

Well, I'm certainly never doing that.

 

Wash your maff out boy!

 

Love Yoshi, but Virgil will be ready & raring to go. For me, he's in. He not only makes us hard to score against, he also represents a goal threat.....and we need some of that!

 

Lukaku always has a field day against us so I'm a bit scared of that

 

Just like Benteke....

 

Not really, no.