from our Coxhoe reporter Carroll about to sign for Sunderland In a major shock to North-east football one time darling of the now defunct St James Park Andy Carroll is about to sign for bitter rivals Sunderland in a 4 million pound deal. Sunderland supremo Martin O'Neill says the signing is imminent and will be a major breakthrough in the clubs ambition to be the regions top dogs in sponsorship and advertising revenue. It is believed, though unconfirmed that 2 mega deals are all but agreed, one with Bishops Barbers of Durham who will use the big man in a series of local TV adverts and one with international giants Loreal who will use big Andy to launch their new split end repair range. O'Neill said that Andy is the perfect person to promote these and may also get the odd game if Ji is injured. In a Coxhoe exclusive with Andy he said," Me ma and da is a bit pissed off like coz they wanted me ta gan back to the Toon but them bastard fans was nasty to wor when a was last there. A always wanted to play at a proper groond like and after the Sports Direct and the Coop it will be champion to be on the bench at the Stadium delight". An announcement is expected within the next 24 hours.
Haha.... His sponsor Coke have expressed a great delight in this move, stating "Our man from Brooklyn is en-route to check out this there suberb you guy's call Hendon, hopefully we can broker a deal to buy a block in downtown Hendon, as we feel this is where our main man Andy can do his best work" "The income in off-field sponsors could well out-weigh the large amount that we have invested in young Andy. It's a sponsors dream come true"
