http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513 Name your alternatives, the best one wins dinner with Sepp Blatter were you can drink the finest german wine, eat french chocolates and laugh, joke and cheer while watching repeats of all Englands defeats from the spot, as you say goodbye to the much loved penalty shoot outs!
With Total Wipeout being cancelled by the BBC, FIFA can buy the set and unleash 22 footballers on it. The player who completes the the course in the fastest time wins the tie for their team. Let the soapy hilarity commence. To be commentated on by Stuart Hall.
Basically I just want to see John Terry get punched in the face by one of those boxing gloves that come out of a wall, fall on his face while at high speed, get his nadgers crushed against a large padded log and repeatedly smacked round the head by a large foam fish. It's not too much to ask is it?
In "It's a Knockout" stylee, the penalty takers have a bungee secured to their waist and a greasy run up which is (just) too long for them to kick the ball into the net, the clubs mascots being in goal.
It's a Knockout was better - and I think that some of the Toon fans could actually fill some of those ridiculous costumes - shame that some of them can't find a shirt in their size please log in to view this image
They should all take part on Gladiator - what a show Massive lols whenever the wolf was involved [video=youtube;gS0FO4vYXN8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS0FO4vYXN8&feature=related[/video]
If the game cannot be decided after 120 minutes of football they should change the game to another sport invented within the country. So if the game is level after 120 minutes in France, they have a game of boules. In Spain, a game of handball. In Greece, they throw a discus. In Japan, they have an 11-bout sumo basho in the centre circle. And in Scotland, they have a furious pub argument where the loser is the first to raise an accusing finger.
Gaelic football, or hurling. England does have an issue, though - the choices are another 90 minutes of football, five days of cricket, or staging a tennis tournament on the pitch. Interest in Thai football would increase dramatically - the only sport they've invented is Muay Thai, so you get two hours of football before they go Ong Bak on each other.
If we could decide it with game of 7's Rugby maybe. Then everytime we played Portugal I would pray for a draw and Sky+ it. Then watch in slow motion as Ronaldo's head gets repeatedly jumped on.
