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Rules -- please read

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by Dilligaf, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    Man rules

    we always hear 'the rules' from the female side
    now here are the rules from the male side

    these are our rules!

    Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!

    1. Drinking beer is ok

    1. Men are not mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during adverts.

    1. Christopher columbus did not need directions and neither do we...

    1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings..
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

    1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or sports.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1 .. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh...

    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh, because its true!

    Hope this little effort puts a smile on your faces and that minxy doesn't ban me

    Let's get some humour on the board and please feel free to add your own
     
    #1
  2. DragonPhilljack

    DragonPhilljack Well-Known Member

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    The kairdiff board have a lot to answer for!.............<laugh>
     
    #2
  3. ValleyGraduate12

    ValleyGraduate12 Aberdude's Puppet Forum Moderator

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  4. ValleyGraduate12

    ValleyGraduate12 Aberdude's Puppet Forum Moderator

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  5. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    They're much better than the rules on the Cardiff board :D

    My favourite one is the beer rule :rolleyes:
     
    #5
  6. Yankee_Jack

    Yankee_Jack Well-Known Member

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    Dilli is obviously related to Ian Holloway .... we all know the rules but only Dilli and Ian are prepared to speak out about them.
     
    #6

  7. Birchgrove52

    Birchgrove52 Member

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    I'll have to start applying these at home <whistle>

    Thought this was going to be 'you're in the naughty corner' if you don't abide by our new rules <rofl>

    And then there was PS, which seems to have no rules unless your friendly with a mod :police:
     
    #7
  8. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    I reckon it's only the ones who are not henpecked who will post on this, the others will be too scared View attachment 25595
     
    #8
  9. Blitz

    Blitz Member

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    I like rule number 1
     
    #9
  10. ValleyGraduate12

    ValleyGraduate12 Aberdude's Puppet Forum Moderator

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    Or they're just ignoring you <whistle>
     
    #10
  11. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    Ian Holloway is a legend. Him, Mourinho and Di Canio all in the same division ;)
     
    #11
  12. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    They're all laughing and you know it. The only ones who ignore me are the crap posters anyway, like the ones who follow that crap team from Shepherds Bush
     
    #12
  13. PaGaNsWaN

    PaGaNsWaN Active Member

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    I'm printing this out and sticking to outside of my home office door :laugh:
     
    #13
  14. Birchgrove52

    Birchgrove52 Member

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    My favourites of this lot are;

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    <steam>
     
    #14
  15. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    Good man Pagan, do it quickly before that female super mod turns up, locks the thread and bans me :cheesy:
     
    #15
  16. Yankee_Jack

    Yankee_Jack Well-Known Member

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    Death wish!
     
    #16
  17. Matthew Bound Still Lurks

    Matthew Bound Still Lurks Well-Known Member

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    Made to be broken end of
     
    #17
  18. swanselona

    swanselona Well-Known Member

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    My favourite is rule no.1. Meh I must have missed Dreyfus's post, when i read through :(
     
    #18
  19. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    I like those Dilli.
     
    #19
  20. Dilligaf

    Dilligaf New Member

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    Rule number 1 in football is............don't talk to me when it's on <whistle>
     
    #20

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