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Steven Caulker's had another run in with the law. Following up his arrest for swearing when he was on loan at Swansea, he's now been arrested for nicking cheese.
Only problem? He didn't actually do it. Walked out of a Tesco Express without paying, went to go back in and got clapped in handcuffs.
Somehow managed to persuade the officers that he could afford the £1.85 tub of Philadelphia on his £47k p/w wages, so they let him go.
 
Sounds like a hack has had a moment of inspiration making that tat up. What a crock.

It's a reaction to Gareth Bale's recent comments about homegrown Premier League players looking to play abroad.
He used Sterling as an example of someone that could do well if he kept up his form, so the media turned it into this.
 
Fat Anderson of Man Utd has been linked with a big move to... India.
He does look like he enjoys the odd bit of naan, to be fair.
 
Hey, at least City struggled, too. They only beat Sheffield Wednesday 7-0. It was 0-0 at HT.
 
10 man Newcastle take the lead from a defender making a run up front for no apparent reason. Odd.
Big goal for them if they can hold on.
 
10 take the lead against 11 eh! Why do people argue with me when I say going down to 10 men isn't a disadvantage? We cheer when a player gets sent off and players appeal for a player to be sent off because they think an advantage will be gained but often there isn't. Another example tonight.