Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Two nuns were driving their car through Transylvania when suddenly Count Dracula lands on the bonnet, snarling at them through the windscreen.
“Quick, show him your cross!" screamed one of the nuns.
The second nun leaned out the window and yelled, "Oi! Get OFF the ****ing car!"

 

I have a tendency to not listen to people properly.

The doctor says it's because I've got 80HD.

 

My company does random urine tests for Saints fans.


It’s to detect any traces of hope or optimism.

 

Ouch!

 

Went for a walk this morning and took this from what used to be the old road bridge in Mansbridge Road.
I had been trying to walk to Haskins but gave up 400 yards, or so, short of my target, owing to the only footpath and half the road being flooded and I neither wanted to get wet feet nor run down, walking up the centre of the road.
Still I enjoyed the walk, which was either 10 or 10.5 miles, depending on the measurement taken from my phone or Fitbit.

 

Was the flooding the river overflowing or just from the heavy rain last night?

 

The rain I guess.
The paths by the river were clear.

 

A bloke I know has started a very successful yacht building business in his bungalow.

The sails are through the roof!

 

My wife asked Would you still love me if you won the lottery? I said of course I'd still love you. I'd miss you but I would still love you.

 

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The country is going to go back even further than that. The Daily Express are doing their best to restart the 100 years war with the French.

 

And brains were well below the belt.

 

I think I might have a bath.

Yep.

Just checked.

It's upstairs in the bathroom.

 

We haven't got a bath. I couldn't get in and out of it any more so I now have a shower with a seat and handrails. I used to like having a bath as it was such fun creating all those bubbles.

 

My water heater broke months ago so can’t use bath...have to rely on electric shower. Miss the bath Should phone someone about it... and the collapsing shed, leaking gutter, etc...but have an aversion to dealing with tradesmen. Will sort it sometime, but’ looking on the bright side, I could die first.