Off Topic Ralph’s Rabbit Hutch.

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  2. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    It may be.

    But the weird thing about tyres i have noticed is that they always go flat at the bottom. Weird.
     
    #49342
  3. Kaito

    Kaito Well-Known Member

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    Michael is the vicar of a Protestant parish in Dublin and Father Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road.
    One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says:

    The End Is Near.
    Turn Yourself Around Now,
    Before It’s Too Late


    As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells...."Leave people alone, you religious nutters. We don't need your lectures."

    From around the next curve they hear screeching tyres and a big splash.

    Shaking his head, Father Patrick says "That’s the third accident this morning."
    "Yea,"....Michael agrees, then adds...."Do ya think maybe the sign should just say ….

    Bridge Ahead Closed!
     
    #49343
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  4. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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  5. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    #49345
    Schrodinger's Cat likes this.
  6. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, 'We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn.

    But first, you each can make a final wish.'

    The Englishman responds, 'I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.'

    The Irishman replies, 'I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.'

    The Welshman answers, 'I'd like to hear "Men Of Harlech" just one more time to remind me of the country, sung as if by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir.'

    The Scotsman says quickly,

    ‘I'd like to be shot first.'
     
    #49346
  7. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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  8. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Idiot .

    it’s because the band on her left arm means something I would imagine <doh>
     
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  9. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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    You're right that's exactly what it was <laugh>
     
    #49349
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  10. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    Three elderly men, Eddie, Brian and Martin men go to the doctor's for their memory test.

    It's actually a miracle they remembered the appointment!

    Anyway, the doctor begins by asking Eddie, "What is five times five?"

    “191," is his reply.

    The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to Brian, "It's your turn.

    What is five times five?"

    “Wednesday," replies Brian.

    The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man,

    “Okay Martin it's your turn. What's five times five?"

    “Twenty five," says Martin.

    “That's great!" says the doctor.

    “How did you get your answer?"

    “Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday."
     
    #49350

  11. saintrichie123

    saintrichie123 Well-Known Member

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  12. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    I took my recently demised monkeys to the taxidermist for stuffing. "Do you want them mounting?" he asked "No I said. Just shaking hands will be fine".
     
    #49352
  13. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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  14. SaintMarv

    SaintMarv Well-Known Member

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  15. tomw24

    tomw24 Well-Known Member

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    Proper storm outside interrupting my beauty sleep.
     
    #49355
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  16. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Yeah I got woken twice by that too.
     
    #49356
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  17. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are
    in Seine.
     
    #49357
  18. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Reminds me of Alan Partridge .
     
    #49358
  19. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Cracking thunderstorm here as well , Not seen one for years !
     
    #49359
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2021
  20. thereisonlyoneno7

    thereisonlyoneno7 Well-Known Member

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    Lol i missed them all. I am partially deaf in one ear so always sleep on my good ear so i can't hear anything in the night. I asked Mrs No7 this morning "Did it rain last night?" and she just looked at me incrediously <laugh>
     
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