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Discussion in 'Southampton' started by TheSecondStain, Jul 15, 2014.
I hope the boat is well sealed
Is it Bob?
That’s irrelevant .....
5 legged dog with tusks?
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Is it necessary to take the dishes out of the sink first?
Asking for a friend.
It's an option to be determined by the urinator. I prefer peeing in the shower, who said men can't multitask?
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but he finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair.
While tying the girl up to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes!
He probably spent lots of time in prison and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction.
This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us".
"Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds:
"He was not kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear........
He told me he was gay, found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom".
"Be strong, honey. I love you, too!!"
as Godders told me several years back, that is good for your feet
I wouldn't take any notice of him. he pisses all over the place, in his trousers, in his bed, wherever he loses control.
You were right though.... much to the disgust of my wife.
Hi Max this is Richard next door.Ive been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face.When you are not around I've been sharing your wife day and night probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that is no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope you'll except my sincere apologies and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you
Max feeling enraged and betrayed grabbed his gun and went next door and shot Richard dead. He returned home and shot his wife dead poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
Second text message
Hi Max Richard here again
Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured out and noticed that the darned spell checker had changed Wi-Fi to wife. Technology huh?. It'll be the death of us all.