Radio 4 Book Club with a special guest

Hello and welcome to Radio 4’s Book Club. Tonight’s special guest is a professional footballer who currently plies his trade in the Premiership with Newcastle United. He’s been on fire in the reserves scoring goals galore and is now hoping to transfer that vein of form to the senior squad. I’d like to welcome Nile Ranger.

Thanks man.

So Nile, what have you been reading this week?

I’s been reading dis book bout a family what goes to da beach. It’s been a wicked read; innit.

Wonderful. And the name of this book?

It’s wicked man. He goes to da beach and his family buy him **** and stuff. He gets a ice cream ans stuff like dat. His family are well nice. Ya kna wahat I’s mean.

Certainly and it sounds like quite an intriguing read.

When I’s was in Southhampton; big up to me hommies. Respect! I’s never done **** like dat. Yous kna what I’s mean? I never went to da beach an ****. I mean dis kid gets a sailors hat! Hows cool man?

Scintillating stuff Nile. Please tell more.

Da best bit doh was wen he’s get into a fight wit some blud on da beach about a towel. I mean, some crip gonna take me towel; Is do the same and cap his ass but his Dad says no. Man dat ain’t your towel and dats da end of the fight. Respect.

Can you see a deeper meaning in all this?

Aiight. Its all about families, innit. If you’s has a Dad dat sticks around and **** then none o dis **** gonna happen. Keep you clean. Keep you real. We needs to have our Dads.

Would you recommend this to anyone?

Too right blud! I mean, It’s only got bouts 8 pages and **** but da pictures are really good. I means you can just look at da pictures right and not even botha wit da words.

Certainly.

I’s is well impressed wit me man. Dey say dat a picture is worth a thousand words innit so if da book is 8 pages den I’ve read. I don no. What is it? Ten thousand words, aiight? I’s is well impressed with dat. One week man. Respect to me.

Thank you Nile. That was Nile Ranger reviewing ‘Spot goes to the beach’. Please join me next week on Radio 4 Book Club when I’ll be joined by another special guest.

Good night.

Aiight! Yous wanna sees me new tattoo?

 

innit!

 

Brilliant!