Found this thread on the thekop, found it quite amusing http://thekop.liverpoolfc.tv/_January-r-humour-s-Part-2/blog/5471217/173471.html Itâs now absolutely clear that neither Glen Johnson nor Luis Suarez will be joining Real Madrid in January. Jose Mourinho has denied all the speculation himself. At a press conference this morning Mourinho said: âIf I wanted to sign any Liverpool players, I would have stayed at Chelseaâ. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe Cole has really enjoyed his season so far in France. However Cole looks forward to going back to Britain for the upcoming holidays in December. Cole phoned Kenny Dalglish to hear what kind of French goodies Dalglish wanted for Christmas. Dalglish answered: âJust put Edin Hazard in your suitcaseâ. Cole promised to work hard on fulfilling Dalglishâ wish. This has made Arsene Wenger immediately loan out Mikel Arteta to Lille from today but only until Christmas. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rafa Benitez is absolutely keen on returning as LFC manager. He knows he wonât be able to replace Dalglish now, so Benitez has announced he will take over Everton from January. This will at least give him a chance to be close. Benitez has challenged Kenny Dalglish to a good old-fashioned duel. Suggesting that the team that finish above the other come May will be permanent manager of LFC from August. Dalglish has never before turned down a challenge and he is not about to now. Dalglish actually believes this challenge will be a good thing. Dalglish said: âWe are hosting Everton in February and Benitez returning to Anfield as Everton manager will certainly take the attention away from us hitting the crossbarâ. David Moyes was left saying: âWhy am I always the last one to knowâ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Meanwhile in Arsenal former LFC player Yossi Benayoun has announced he will be joining Man United in January. Benayoun wants to become the first player who has played for the 4 big clubs in less than two years. Benayoun was then asked if he would also consider playing for Man City. Benayoun replied: âLet them win the league first and then we can talk about in Augustâ. According to a childhood sweetheart of Manciniâs uncleâs best friend Mancini has already had Benayounâs transfer papers printed. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to David Moyes he gave a press conference at the Finch Farm this morning. He was asked if Everton would be a bit more active in the coming January window than they were back in August, where to Moyes replied: âNah, we are kind of like the ducks at wintertime, we are just hoping some nice people will hand us their leftoversâ. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- âIf only you could sing as well as you can score goalsâ This was heard at a party between the Barcelona players last week, itâs apparently what Messi said to David Villa that upset Villa so much he now wants to join the Premier League. Messi lost it after Villa had spent an hour on the karaoke machine singing the same song over and over again. Kenny Dalglish sees this as an advantage, Dalglish said: âso the guy likes to sing, he will learn Youâll never walk alone in no time, and we do have earplugs in Britainâ. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Carlos Tevez still hasnât found a club willing to match his demands. Mancini is very anxious he will have to put up with him for another 5 months, so he is considering turning it into an auction where the highest bidder will get not only Tevez but also his own wages until summer. Apparently no one has told Mancini that even his wages is not enough to cover the costs of Tevez for 5 months. Right now David Moyes is eagerly checking to see if his press conference has been seen in Manchester. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One last note Didier Drogba has turned the transfer business into his own personal matter. Drogba has send Damien Comolli a rather angry email. Drogba wrote: If you guys will take Torres back then I will personally pay for his fâ¦..g wages for the remains of his career. (Rumor has it that Frank Lampard has agreed to chip in) BUT, Comolli deleted the email faster than it takes for Demba Ba to spell his surname. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Where all this leaves Gary Cahill is yet again another story. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once again this story is completely made up. I am just making a joke about the fact that we hear rumors all the time and some of them are quite crazy. And then to post a fun story here at the Kop for a change. If you guys still want it, I have plenty of stories for a part 3. Cheers and YNWA Bente
