Guy wins lottery .Wants to buy his favourite club Leeds .After days of wrangling the talks break down .On the steps of Elland Road the chairman shakes his hand and says "Come back when you get four nunbers
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Leeds United," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone."
an interviewer from the local rag is doing an in depth report on longevity,so he goes into the park to interview the elderly. he comes across three old gentlemen sat on a park bench,he asks the first mant what he contributes his old age to, them old man replies-i have never drank alchol,smoked cigrettes or gone with loose ladies. and how old are asks the intervieweer. 97 replies the old gentleman. he turns to the second old gentleman and asks the same question i take the occasional sherry and i appreciate a good cigar at christmas,i also have tasted the delights of loose ladies on a couple of occasions. and how old are you asks the interviewer 74 replies the old gentleman he then turns to the third old gentleman who looks particularly ravaged and asks him the same question. i drink anything alcholic ,i smoke at my lesure and i will tonk anything that is wearing a skirt, and how old are asks the interviewer. i am 32 and have just gone on loan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
