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Professor Brian Cox attempts to explain Chelsea’s tiny title chances

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by SirBR, May 12, 2011.

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  1. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    Pop star physicist Brian Cox has made a short documentary in which he tries to demonstrate to football fans the infinitesimal probability of Chelsea winning the Premier League.

    After their defeat by Manchester United, many people recognise that the London club still have a mathematical chance of regaining their title and have now turned to the one man capable of explaining such remote possibility in terms that football fans may be able to understand.

    The professor begins the documentary in typical fashion, saying, “Just think of all the sand on all the beaches all over the world.”

    “Then consider the possibility that just one of those billions of trillions of grains is flown around the world on the wings of a duck-billed platypus.”

    “And imagine that tiny bit of sand falling from the feathers of that platypus and landing in the vagina of a virgin – a virgin in Sunderland – and for that grain to go on to impregnate her with the second coming of the baby Jesus,” Cox continues.

    Billions and billions

    “Then think of the chances that billions and billions of people across the globe will believe all that bollocks to be fact and worship that child for two thousand years as the Son of God.”

    “Well that’s a bit like the chance of Chelsea winning the title,” he concluded.

    “Or of Fernando Torres scoring again before the end of the season.”

    http://newsthump.com/2011/05/09/pro...-explain-chelsea’s-tiny-title-chances/


    Brilliant - Only fault with it is we all know there are NO virgins in Sunlan <laugh>
     
    #1
    SirBR, May 12, 2011
  2. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Things Can Only Get Better...
     
    #2
    overseasTOON, May 12, 2011
  3. Cal.

    Cal. Active Member

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    All was going well until "a virgin in Sunderland". Does such a thing exist?
     
    #3
    Cal., May 12, 2011
  4. It's all gone Fabricio

    It's all gone Fabricio Member

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    I think thats part of the joke as it makes it more unlikely?
     
    #4
    It's all gone Fabricio, May 12, 2011
  5. I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner

    I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner Well-Known Member

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    Those two waiting for the new Sunderland kit?
     
    #5
    I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner, May 12, 2011
  6. ToonSi

    ToonSi Active Member

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    I don't know mind, the way that some of them go on, especially on here...
     
    #6
    ToonSi, May 12, 2011
  7. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    lol.

    EDIT: Can you guys help with an argument. Does Brian (gayly prances through fields of) Cox have a shiny face or not? I think yes, but a friend says no.
     
    #7
    Darth Gogledd, May 12, 2011
  8. Smudger

    Smudger Active Member

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    Psycho <ok>
     
    #8
    Smudger, May 12, 2011
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