Off Topic Phrases from your formative years

"You're always saying that" - my eldest boy said that to me the other day about some saying or other that he was getting fed up hearing from me.

Got me casting back to when I was a child and remembering what phrases and sayings got under my skin back then.

If I did something faintly praiseworthy and got recognition for it my sister would say "Feel important?"
That really bugged me and she loved that of course.

What admonishments or compliments do you remember
from childhood days?

 

My Nan would always come out with some good ones.

Me : 'Nan, have you got a pen and paper' ?
Nan : 'No, but I've got a granny in the Swiss navy'

Me : 'Nan, where's my bag' ?
Nan : 'It's up in Annie's room, behind the wallpaper' (We never had anyone called Annie in our family)

Me : 'Nan, how old are you' ?
Nan : ' I'm not as old as my tongue, but a little bit older than my teeth'

 

My dad used to find 'I've told you a million times not to exaggerate' very funny. By the 753,439th time it became quite tiresome.

 

I still use that one to my kids, and still find it highly amusing.....

 

Love it. Sounds like a great character.

 

Little boys should be seen and not heard. Hated it.

 

If I was mooching around the kitchen in my permanently hungry state eating anything that was there, my old man would say in exasperation,
"If you saw a cow ****ing you'd want stirabout"

 

My dear old Mum had a couple of beauties:

After most meals:
"Has everyone had ample sufficiency? "

And my favourite:
"Don't go off on a tandem (tangent)."

**** I miss her!

 

Often heard playground taunt when I was 10 or so and someone did something stupid....

" Joey "

Wouldn't hear that now of course, and probably only a handful of you here know what I'm talking about!!

 

Early reference to Joey Barton, obviously.

 

"Wait until your father gets home" was a particular favourite of my mum, as was an exasperated "you nearly made me swear!"

 

Yep, remember that.....Joey Deacon, made famous by Blue Peter? That's how it went in our school, anyway!



As you say, wouldn't be deemed acceptable nowadays.

 

I came home from school on one occasion to find that my mother had a real cob on with me. It turned out that somebody had grassed me up for being a secret smoker and she was not happy. Not only did I get a "wait until your father gets home", but she was insistent that I should tell him why she was so cross and upset.

I was dreading this, but when he got back from work and I was put in front of him to mumble,"mum's found out that I smoke", he just looked up and said,"that's a bit stupid, isn't it?" and gave me a cigar.

Turns out the cigar was meant to make me feel sick and put me off tobacco for life, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. He told me many years later that he was both impressed and annoyed about it, but was smiling nonetheless.

 

If ever I'd done something wrong my mum would say to my dad "Stan, speak to this boy will you?" And my dad would say, "hello boy, are you all right?" Used to wind my mum up something rotten.

 

My mum would say " never go out with wet hair, you'll catch a cold"\
And if I would ask where dad was she would say " he's gone to se a man about a dog"

 

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face if I catch a hold of you"

"Oh her, she's too sweet to be wholesome"

"She'd live in your ear, that one"

The woman next door used to call me "Glamour boy" for some reason, and the tearaway on the other side of her was a "Sleeveen bastard"

My mother, as mothers would, had no time at all for her two sons-in-law, one was always referred to as "That thing" and the other as "That article"

 

If I pulled a face for any reason my mum would say "you'll stay like that in a strong wind" Never did understand that one.

 

Our version was 'you'll stay like that if the wind changes'

When yawning, or being gormless with a wide open mouth 'careful, there's a bus coming'

 

When my sister and I were little, if our Grandfather ever caught us up to mischief he'd shout at us to stop our skylarking. If we continued we'd feel the back of his hand,but that's for another thread !

 

if i grabbed a snack my mum would say do you want a plate or a hoover with that?