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OT: The Swiss Cheese Pervert...

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Skylarker, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Is this man BLUFF (BCR)??? I personally think it's Manobear. Possibly Onionsoupontoast??

    The Mayfair Town Watch of Mayfair, Pennsylvania., posted a warning on Facebook Thursday that residents should "please be aware of the Swiss Cheese Pervert!"

    The suspect in question allegedly drives around town "exposes himself to women" and "offers them money to watch him put swiss cheese on his privates." The group also posted a photo of the suspect.


    On Friday, Twitter user Priscilla Rosado tweeted the following photo at the satirical Twitter account @Swisscheeseperv:

    @Swisscheeseperv I met this dude a few weeks ago #creep

    — priscilla rosado (@viva_la_pris) January 11, 2014
    Police confirmed with Philly Mag that the Special Victims Unit is indeed investigating reports that a man with a "major sexual cheese fetish" has been harassing women in the area.

    Gabby Chest, a woman who lives in the nearby town of Bridesburg, told the website that the suspect's photo -- and the story -- sounded all too familiar. In 2012, she said, a man who looked "exactly like" the gentleman in the photo contacted her on OKCupid and said "he was looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese."

    The alleged message states:

    I developed this fetish to help me deal with my sexual urges. I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese. I like to use Swiss cheese and would wrap slices of the cheese around penis, then masturbate. Now tho, after finding several girls to do it for me, I prefer having girls do it for me, instead of myself.
    Dreamin' Demon uncovered a Reddit post from 2008 that quotes a similar-sounding personal ad from Philadelphia Craigslist:

    I have a big heart, and it was crushed time and again by the opposite sex, that and a very strong sex drive, well I am lucky I never became a rapist. My fetish grew out of desperation for sex with a woman. I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections, girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.
    I tried many different kinds of cheese, but settled on Swiss as the best. First and foremost, if ever a picture of cheese is used, most of the time they use a representation of Swiss cheese. But also because of it's eye patterns, texture, and the way it feels against my penis.

    The Swiss Cheese Pervert is described as a "heavy set male, 40-50 years old" who drives a "newer model silver sedan" as well as a "black newer model sedan."

    please log in to view this image


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...9208.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news#slide=2482330
     
    #1
  2. The artist JerryChristmas

    The artist JerryChristmas "Massive old member"

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    Haven't seen Milk for a while <whistle> I'd have him as suspect numero uno....
     
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  3. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Ahhh that's true, the dairy batard. Also Red Baron seems to have disappeared?
     
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  4. saintanton

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    Brings new meaning to the word "knobcheese".
     
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  5. BBFs Unpopular View

    BBFs Unpopular View Well-Known Member

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    Is it the photo or is there some ginger going on?

    That you Bluff?
     
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  6. BCR

    BCR Well-Known Member

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    No one noticed the giant robot in the background? **** the guy banging swiss cheese with his needle dick! <laugh>
     
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  7. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    Swiss cheese that's disgusting. Has this man no loyalty to his country. He can't find a decent American cheese to toss off with...there again America does have cheese in an aerosol can which you just spray onto your sandwich
     
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  8. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    That's because I couldn't get the Captcha to work... I forgot my password and had to create ANOTHER new account... this is the only website that I can't get the captcha to work on. It keeps telling me I entered the wrong code no matter how many times I type it in- or how sure I am I got it correct... Just tried again a dozen or so times and couldn't get it to work... think the captcha is broken.

    So I'm OnionSoupOnToast now.



    I'm not the Swiss Cheese Pervert... I would probably choose just about any cheese ahead of Swiss... Swiss tastes bad to me... also - the Pervert is too old to be me and has a new Sedan... I have a blue hatchback.

    Otherwise... good guess. I've found a new hobby now. I'll see how Munster works later...
     
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  9. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    FFS <yikes>
     
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  10. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Most American cheeses are allowed to (and do) add vegetable oil to their products without listing it as an ingredient "it's part of cheese". They can also sell goat and sheep based cheeses made (such as Feta) with cows milk without documenting on the packaging that it isn't in fact real Feta/Camembert, etc. (and usually it isn't real).

    The vegetable oil ends up making all the cheese over here rubbery- you can tell a low quality American cheese when you melt it because it goes really stringy.

    The spray on cheese tastes really nasty.

    However, American cheese is superior... to Mexican cheese... talk about nasty... I'm not sure there is any dairy at all in the average mexican cheese.

    Has Velveeta been exported to UK? Best I can tell- it is fetid margarine, with a hint of artificial cheese flavour and coloured orange using radioactive waste as a dye.
     
    #10

  11. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    #11
  12. #12
  13. Ivan Dobsky

    Ivan Dobsky GC Thread Terminator

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    Sis, I can't reply to your latest paranoid, conspiratorial nonsense (this time about the moon-landings) as your inbox, doubtless reflecting your mind, is crammed over-full with crap. Be a darling, make room and I'll explain radio-telescopes, triangulation and the telemetry that still exists at Jodrell Bank, Parkes observatory in Australia AND the former Soviet Union too. I won't even have to mention laser -range finders and 4 billion-year-old moon rocks and the fact that not one REAL scientist (Kaysing was a librarian and Renee never even graduated from high school, let alone any drivel about him being a 'particle physicist, as claimed in his books) has ever given credence to what would be the scientific discovery of the millennium.
     
    #13
  14. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    <steam>.
     
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  15. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Can't say I've come across it. Sounds like some nasty **** though, thanks for the warning <ok>
     
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  16. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Poor guy... all he wanted was a cheesy cock.
     
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