OT DIY Nightmares

What have been your worst DIY nightmares?

I remember years ago, when me and the missus didn't have two shillings to rub together (nowts changed, in fact) I dropped a 10ltr tub of white emulsion onto the floor, the lid popped off and emptied its contents all over the brand new carpet which we had saved up for months for <try explaining that one to an irate missus>

The poor carpet was scarred for life <lol>

Anyway, enough of my stupidity, it's time for YOU to spill the beans, so to speak, on your worst DIY nightmares <you know you want to>

What have been your worst DIY nightmares?

 

p.s. the more gory the better, if anyone has accidentally sawn their heed off then let the rest of us know

 

I'm absolutely **** at anything DIY. The Hoover packed in once and I said to her indoors that I'd have a look at it. She just laughed sarcastically. Anyway, I checked it and it was just the fuse, so I changed it. She was amazed and over the moon when it worked. It was one of those hoovers that you stood on a button and the flex recoiled into the Hoover. I hadn't tightened the plug enough and when I pressed it, the flex went back into the Hoover and the plug popped off. I could see the end of the flex but couldn't get to it. Bit by bit I took it apart till I got to the flex. Twenty minutes later it was in a dozen bits on the floor. Could I put it back together? Could I f*ck. I picked up all the bits, chucked them in the bin and went to the town and got a new one.

She wasn't impressed.

 

DIY Nightmare rating 7/10 next time buy a VAX (not a Dyson!)

****ing hell, Hat, I got myself a shiner recently thanks to my stupidity and Henry the vacuum cleaner. The little happy black and red bastard was in the back of my van, the wire all tangled up with other bits and bobs. I tried pulling the cable out and it got stuck. I gave it an extra strong tug and the rest of the cable came out, followed by the plug which then struck me on the right eyebrow. I stood there in the street and yelled, "****kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" at the top of my voice while in utter pain. A lump about half the size of a golf ball quickly developed.

Truth is, don't **** around with Henry <ouch>

 

Not DIY but I got hauled out of bed cause the Hotel Night Manager had gone to slice meat for a sandwich, cause he was in a hurry decided to use the machine slicer but didn't put the guards back on, took off his right thumb and ball of the palm. Another night woken up by fire alarms at 00.30 hrs, got to reception to hear night porter stating there was a fire on top floor of hotel, evacuated 64 guests and watched hotel burn down, 11 pumps and 2 aerial platforms in attendance, final fire crew left 20 hours after it started.

 

dont by a dyson,that tw@t started in this country, his workforce helping him build the company,there reward -he shut down his business in this country and opened a factory/sweatshop abroad to make more money

 

We bought our first house 1 month before we got married and the house was virtually derelict
one job I had to do was to take out the old coal fire place ready for the gas fitter to install the gas fire
things were going smoothly when I notice a brick loose above the hole where the fire had been
I thought I could knock it out and re-cement it back in

took out the first brick easily, when whoosh, 9 course of brickwork came crashing down on top of me
with the soot filling the whole room, I was gasping for air,
I went to the front door, tripped over the doorstep and fell at the feet of my new next door neighbour (who I hadn't met before)
she just smiled and asked me how I was doing
I said I was getting there

it wasn't until my future wife arrived an hour later that I found out that all the soot had stuck to the sweat on my face like glue
and I looked like .... an extra out of the black and white minstral show

 

DIY NIGHTMARE RATING 8/10. You're a danger to have around mate

 

And his ads are crap!

 

DIY NIGHTMARE RATING 8/10. Quality, this sounds like a scene from a Laurel & Hardy film.

 

Come on now fellas, I know there are a quite a few Un-Handy Andys amongst us. Don't be shy now and let us have your stories.

 

Never heard of film producers called Laurel & Hardy, what film are they best known for?

 

broke me finger .. taking telescopic ladders down for the first time lol .. hit radiator pipe once drilling oot aswell ..messy..never ran as fast to turn the stopcock off and run the taps lol

 

'Another Fine Mess' starring Freddie Shepherd.

 

lol

DIY NIGHTMARE RATING 7/10. Don't give up the day job mate.

 

I bet that was a best seller.

 

Once broke a finger nail and didn't have any scissors to trim it down and it caught on just about everything.

Nasty things broken finger nails.

 

You definitely are not Rambo.

 

And cheap at a fiver each (knowing FFS).

 

laddered your stockings by any chacnce ???