The Players: James Traynor Keith (Union) Jackson Darryl Broadfoot Charles Green The Scene: Four reasonably well-dressed men are sitting together at Murray Park. 'The Sash' is played in the background on a Flute. James Traynor: Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of succulent lamb. Keef Jackson: Nothing like a good glass of finest Red eh Jabba? Darryl Broadfoot: You're right there, Keef. Charles Green: Who'd have thought 2 years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh? James Traynor: In them days we was glad to just be invited to sit at Minty's table, no chairs mind you, we had to kneel at his feet. Keef Jackson: Ay ba goom thee is right. Charles Green: Changed days now lads Darryl Broadfoot: When Craig Whyte pitched up all we got was a cup of tea James Traynor: In a cracked cup, an' all. Charles Green: When I were a lad, we never had cups. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. Keef Jackson: The best we could manage was to suck on a Minty soundbite. . Darryl Broadfoot: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were stupid and biased. James Traynor: Because we were biased. My old Dad used to say to me, "The truth doesn't buy you happiness, son". Charles Green: Aye, 'e was right. James Traynor: Aye, 'e was. Charles Green: I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to have Sheffield Utd board meetings in a Tin shed down't by t'mill. Keef Jackson: Shed! You were lucky to sit in a shed! When Whyte was ere we used to meet in one room, all one hundred and fifty of us laptop loyalists, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling. Darryl Broadfoot: Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to meet in t' corridor! James Traynor: Oh, we used to dream of meetin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to meet in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! corridor? Huh. Charles Green: Well, when I say 'Tin Shed' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a shed to us. Keef Jackson: We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and meet in a lake. Darryl Broadfoot: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us meetin in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road. James Traynor: Cardboard box? Darryl Broadfoot: Aye. James Traynor: You were lucky. We met for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt. Keef Jackson: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky! Darryl Broadfoot: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got to Murray Park Martin Bain would slice us in two wit' bread knife. Charles Green: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing No Pope of Rome. James Traynor: And you try and tell the Rangers fans of today that ..... they won't believe you. ALL: They won't!
Once went to Yorkshire. A women stepped out in front of me pushing a pram but I was driving a bit too fast and couldn't stop. Bang - I hit the pram. ****ing coal everywhere. True story.
I thought T would be gone by now as his team is just starting to roll down the hill into oblivion. Dev something tells me that your story like T's is a little exaggerated.
Nah - that was another time when I was in holiday in America. That was the time I met Sandra Bullock.
