The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning. I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff." "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked. "I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other ****er using my stuff." She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another ****er?"
The wife had a near death experience last night. Silly ****er thought she could do the hoovering while the footy was on.
Sad news lads and lasses. Just found out that my mate has overdosed on indigestion medicine......... Just cant beleive it ........ Gav is gone
Wife comes home from work and finds the husband sitting watching football "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is sit around watching and talking about football and you think of nothing else" she said. "I'm also seeing someone else and he's younger than you, more handsome, tender, understanding, treats me like a queen and does anything I ask. He has a 9" cock, ****s me hard every day, hard and dirty how I like it until I cant take anymore" ........... .............."really" asks the husband, "what team does he support".
