A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to **** yourself when I tell you the price!"
A man who had been doing chores around the house all day was feeling stiff and sore. His wife, who was very pleased at her husband's initiative, decided to reward him by drawing him a hot bath, serving him a nice whiskey, and joining him later for some extra fun.The husband was quite happy to be pampered in this manner, so he lay in the tub, and called out for his wife to bring him his drink.She said: If there's anything else I can do for you dear, just call for it, and I'll be happy to bring it up to you.As soon as he heard her reach the bottom of the stairs, he let out a long, burbly bathtub fart, which produced enough stink filled bubbles to fog up the entire bathroom.Moments later, his wife enters the room with a hot water bottle.The confused husband looks up and says: What on earth gave you the idea that I needed a hot water bottle?She answers: Didn't you just say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle?"
