One to wake up to, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sad as can be.

A good old Irish chuckle














Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."




















































Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him, "Did you find the shampoo?"

Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."



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Paddy and Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.

Mick says, "What if one explodes before we get there?"

Paddy: "We’ll lie and say we only found two."
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The Irish have solved their fuel problems.They’ve imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own oil.
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Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what in hell d’yis t’ink yer doing?"

Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter....."
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Joe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

 

Lol

 

Paddy & Mick are walking down the street Paddy falls down a hole Mick shouts “Is it dark down there?”
Mick replies ” Don’t know can’t see…”

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Paddy & Mick are rowing to America they get half way across th’Atlantic when
Paddy says “Mick I’m bored can we go home and do the other half tomorrow?”

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Paddy & Mick are reading headstones in a graveyard
Mick shouts “Bugger me there’s one here 152…”
Paddy says “Whats his name?”
Mick replies “Miles from London”

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Paddy: I’m thinking of becoming a blacksmith – here, have ye ever shoed a horse?
Mick: No, but I once told a donkey to feck off!

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Paddy & Mick walking through a feild and Paddy falls over and breaks his leg.
Paddy says “Argh Mick call me an ambulance”
Mick says “Paddy is an ambulance, Paddy is an ambulance”

 

Murphy comes in from the pub green with the drink. Sat by the fire are his two brothers who are both priests. They look at him in disgust and say he will end up in hell because of his sinful ways. Murph says he's not bothered as it will be home from home - can't get near the fire for fecking priests.

 

Paddy rings an ambulance for his mate Mick. “Come quick my mate Mick is hurt and needs help fast”. The operator tells Paddy to calm down and asks where he is at. “104 Eucalyptus Boulevard” says Paddy. “Can you spell that please” says the operator. The line goes quiet and the operator says “Hello sir are you still there”. Couple of minutes pass and still nothing until after about 5 minutes Paddy comes back on the line. “Right I have just dragged him to 2 Oak Road”.