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One to wake up to ,,,,,off topic, syd will get this one

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by billofengland, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. billofengland

    billofengland Well-Known Member

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    An old prospector shuffled into the town of Del Rio, Texas , leading a tired old mule.


    The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.

    He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

    As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out

    of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

    The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"

    The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to"

    A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

    The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

    Everybody standing around was laughing.

    When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

    The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.

    The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

    The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

    The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.

    The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said;

    "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's arse"

    The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but... I've always wanted to"

    There are a few lessons for all of us here:

    *Don't be arrogant.
    *Don't waste ammunition.
    *Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
    *Always make sure you know who is in control...
    *And finally, Don't screw around with old folks; they didn't get old by being stupid......


    I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
     
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  2. bernardmanningsbum

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  3. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    :emoticon-0116-evilg...........very good bill...




    Ghana coach Goran Stevanovic has revealed deep divisions within the squad, saying some players used witchcraft against their own team-mates.

    The Serbian made his claim in a leaked report on the Black Stars' failure at the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations, where they were beaten by eventual winners Zambia in the semi-finals.

    "We all need to help in changing some players' mentality about using 'black power' to destroy themselves, and also make sure we instil discipline and respect for each other," the coach said.

    In a report delivered to the Ghana Football Association's (GFA) executive committee, Stevanovic added: "After losing to Zambia, there arose so many accusations amongst the players.
     
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  4. Steven Royston O'Neill

    Steven Royston O'Neill Well-Known Member

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    So much truth in that story Bill
     
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  5. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Sir Alex Ferguson walked into the dressing room one day to find Wayne Rooney crying his eyes out.

    "What's the matter?" he asked.

    "Colleen bought me a jigsaw puzzle of a tiger, and I can't do it", he sobbed, "And I don't want her to think I'm stupid".

    "Well, why don't you bring it in, and we'll see if we can work through it together", said Ferguson, offering him a hankie to dry his eyes.

    Wayne made Ferguson promise not to tell Colleen or any of the other players that he'd been crying.

    The following day Ferguson was at work when there was a knock at his office door. "Come in", he shouted as Rooney slipped in with a box stuffed up inside his jumper.

    Ferguson cleared the desk as Rooney sprinkled the pieces onto the table.

    "Well, I'm not surprised that you can't do it", Ferguson sighed, "This is a box of Frosties!"
     
    #5
  6. billofengland

    billofengland Well-Known Member

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    Nice one Comm, will spread it amongst the lads, a good yarn.
     
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