One to wake up to american style

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:



*"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."*



****************************



In a Podiatrist's office:



*"Time wounds all heels."*



****************************



On a Septic Tank Truck:



*Yesterday's Meals on Wheels*



****************************



*On a Plumber's truck:*



*"We repair what your husband fixed."*



****************************



*On another Plumber's truck:*



*"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."*



****************************



*On a Church's Bill board:*



*"7 days without God makes one weak."*



****************************



*At a Tyre Store*



*"Invite us to your next blowout."*



****************************



*On an Electrician's truck:*



*"Let us remove your shorts."*



****************************



*In a Non-smoking Area:*



*"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate



action."*



****************************



*On a Maternity Room door:*



*"Push. Push. Push."*



****************************



*At an Optometrist's Office:*



*"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right



place."*



****************************



*On a Taxidermist's window:*



*"We really know our stuff."*



****************************



*On a Fence:*



*"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"*



****************************



*At a Car Dealership:*



*"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."*



****************************



*Outside a Car Exhaust Store:*



*"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."*



****************************



*In a Vets waiting room:*



*"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"*



****************************



*In a Restaurant window:*



*"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."*



****************************



*In the front yard of a Funeral Home:*



*"Drive carefully. We'll wait."*



****************************



*And don't forget the sign at a*



*RADIATOR SHOP:*



*"Best place in town to take a leak."*



************************



*Sign on the back of yet another*



*Septic Tank Truck:*



*"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"*

 

Or the lesbian who was prescribed Rubberdixon tablets to improve her sex life.

 

Is that the same as,,,, Strapadichtomy?

 

This reminded me of this actual road sign snapped in Canadia.

I laughed my tits off...

 

Man catches his 8 year old son putting his hand up a young lasses kegs so he tells him off and to stop him
doing it again he says "Chappaz {sorry chapz just joking} don't put your hand up there they have teeth up there
and they will bite you"

So the youngster grows up with the impresion that they do indeed have teeth up "there" and avoids putting his finger
in the pie so to speak.

He gets to the age of 16 and he is on the couch with his girlfriend and she asks if he would like to put his hand there to
which he replies "no I know you have teeth up there that will bite me" she says "dont be silly I dont have teeth up there -
here I will show you" and proceeds to lift her skirt and pull her kegs down and open her legs. So the boy is a little unsure but
puts his head down to have a look...............




























After a couple of minutes he emerges and says " f****** hell no wonder you have got no teeth up there have you seen the state of your gums?"

 

Owldns are class, but Im sure my missus has teeth down there, thats if my memory serves me well,,,,,,, so long ago,,,,,,,, actually,,,,, who is my missus?

 

"going senile" - I used to know what it was but I forget now