Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen... A. Ber. Deen. Come on you reds, 
 Come on you reds, 
 Come on you reds, 
 Come on you reds, 
 Come on you reds, 
 Come on you reds... We are the reds, 
 We are the reds, 
 We are, we are, we are the reds.
 We are the reds, 
 We are the reds, 
 We are, we are, we are the - Iâll go out on a limb here and guess âredsâ? Could be wrong - reds. We need new songs.
Although some of the old ones are alright, I suppose. Teuchter's paradise, much more like it: [video=youtube;djZ3nOV4924]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djZ3nOV4924&feature=related[/video] The Northern Lights of old Aberdeen
 Mean home sweet home to me,
 The Northern Lights of Aberdeen 
 Are where I long to be.
 I’ve been a wanderer all of my life
 And many a sight I've seen,
 God speed the day when l'm on my way
 To my home in Aberdeen. When I was a lad, a tiny wee lad,
 My mother said to me:
 "Come see the Northern Lights, my boy,
 They're bright as they can be."
 She called them the heavenly dancers,
 Dancers in the sky,
 I'll never forget that wonderful sight
 They made the heavens bright. The Northern lights of old Aberdeen….
[video=youtube;rMgoNagdplk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMgoNagdplk[/video] Stand free wherever you may be, We are the famous Aberdeen, We don't give a ****, whoever you may be, We are the famous Aberdeen. Not bad. Bit mouthy in the third line, perhaps, but not bad. Makes us sound tough. Yeah. Side-issue: the quality of the film (above) is abysmal. If I ever made a film that bad, I would feel too ashamed to make it public. I don't know what's wrong with people.
Another day, another song.... And it's A-ber-deen, Aberdeen FC, We’re by far the greatest team The world has ever seen. An alright song, can be sung with real feeling. Problems: 1) Fans of other clubs sing this song, as well, although they’ll generally drop the word “Aberdeen” and replace it with the name of their own team. 2) If fans of other teams sing the line "we're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen" - which they do - then this may be seen to create an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust in football grounds. Someone is clearly lying. 3) "We're by far the greatest team..." may also be seen as an outward expression of a rather Aberdeen-centric view of the world and may even be classed as in-group hyperbole, which might run contrary to the Scottish Executive's intended aims vis-a-vis inclusiveness and social cohesion. Solution: And it's A-ber-deen, Aberdeen FC, Though we'd love to say we're special, We're just another team.
You're lucky you phrased that as a question, Rebel, or you could have been dragged before the beaks. Word. Oh. No Pope of Rome? No chapels? Too sad, in my eyes. No nuns and no priests and no rosary beads? Every day is the twelfth of July? With a printed out song-sheet to hand, Celtic and Rangers fans might sing this in harmony and we'll leave it up to the authorities to determine what's been sung and whether such questions are legitimate in a free society and whether sarcasm was deployed at any point. I'm sure they'll make some pretty good laws on the back of their findings.
Who's that lying at Pittodrie?
 Who's that lying on the floor?
 Looks like Iain Durrant to me, and he's gone and bust his knee, And he won't be playing for Rangers anymore. Problems: 1) This song is crass, uncouth, irrelevant and backwards-looking and will likely be offensive to many. 2) Ian Durrant did, in fact, play for Rangers again, so the song is factually incorrect â as if we didnât have enough problems already without leaving ourselves open to legal challenge. Solution: Who's that lying at Pittodrie?
 Who's that lying on the floor?
 Looks like Iain Durrant to me, and he's gone and bust his knee, And although he went on to play for Rangers again, his performance levels were diminished and he was never quite the same player, to be fair, which was and remains a great shame.
You can borrow JCGE if you like. Just you, though. Coz you're nice. That **** ER can GTF RFN. GBTQ FTP Up The RAC.
âUp the RACâ is v. funny. I donât know why, it just is. JCGE? A quick google search came up with Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology. If youâre saying that I can borrow your copy, Tina, then this is really rather sweet. A noble gesture.
I hardly dare ask what "gam" means. It feels like it might be something murky, something illicit and sexual, something not altogether found in the bible, Mahatma, and we're puritans here on the Aberdeen board, as you'll know, so I'll step around the issue with thin lips, a look of disgust on my face and an uncomfortably prominent erection. (Just imagine a Wee Free minister and you'll get the picture.) You have a funny name.
You know how adverts appear on the page if you're not signed in, Tina? Well, this one appeared next to your comment: please log in to view this image I make no comment, obviously - truly, I am a gentleman - but it does make me wonder what adverts might appear next to my own name. I'm not sure I like the possibilities. (You also need to wonder at the calibre of advertisers being attracted to the site if they draw their own adverts with pencils. But that's an issue for admin, to be sure.)
And so it continues..... He plays on the left, He plays on the right, 
 That boy Aluko, 
 Made Bayern look ****e Good song. Perfect, really, even though it highlights a single player as opposed to the whole team. This will surely be a favourite for years to come. In your Glasgow slums, 
 You rake in the bucket for something to eat, 
 You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat, 
 In your Glasgow slums... Dull. We shag sheep, 
 Lots of sheep in the country, Lots of Lambs 
 Pushing prams, In the country... Nice (and legally bombproof).
We shag sheep, 
 Lots of sheep in the country, Lots of Lambs 
 Pushing prams, In the country...
Another night, another voyage of discovery..... You are a weegie A stinking weegie You're only happy on giro day Your da's a stealer Your ma's a dealer Please don't take my hubcaps away Dull. Just....dull. Are you watching? Are you watching? Are you watching Glasgow press? Are you watching Glasgow press? Problems: Feels a bit chippy. And nowadays, of course, we would probably rather not draw needless attention to ourselves. Solution: Start winning stuff. Sing, my lads,
 Sing your northern songs,
 Sing it in the spirit that will cheer the boys along, Sing it how we used to sing with sixty-thousand strong,
 As we go marching to Wembley. And now we're back in Europe, 
 The feeling's ****ing great, 
 We'll try to emulate that team 
 Of 1968, 
 We'll win the Cup, have no fear, 
 And then we'll drink your beer, And we will follow United... Rousing, not particularly confrontational and â apart from the word â****ingâ - pretty much family-friendly. Perfect, if you like that sort of thing. Problem: This is a Manchester Utd song. Solution: Not immediately apparent.
The lonely (and yet strangely brave) quest resumes..... We hate Glasgow Rangers, 
 We hate Celtic too (they're ****e), We hate Dundee United, But Aberdeen we love you. 
 Altogether nowâ¦â¦ We hate Glaâ¦â¦and so on. Problem: no real problems, as such, and itâs good to see Dundee Utd get a mention. I'll never quite understand "hating" another team, right enough - Gandhi - but where's the actual harm? Solution: none needed. It'll do. We are Aberdeen FC, We are northern, we are one. We are Aberdeen FC, We are the mighty dandy Dons! We are Aberdeen FC, We are northern, proud and born. We are Aberdeen FC, We are the mighty dandy Dons! And a few other verses.... Problem: this sounds like a football song that was made up by committee. And the use of the words "dandy Dons" should make all upstanding sheep die a little inside. Solution: make a Dance Mix of the song, something icily cool and in no way contaminated with the feel of uncle; something that'll really appeal to the kids, for sure: [video=youtube;gTddqk2IC1w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTddqk2IC1w[/video] This video (above) was uploaded to Youtube by someone called "Poperama". I'm not sure if Poperama had any part in making up this Dancey Mix, right enough, but, because it is so inspiringly painful, I feel I should probably turn my hand to making dance mixes of football songs myself. Please feel warned.
Right so..... Yer ma's a mattress, Yer ma's a mattress, Yer ma yer ma yer ma's a mattress... Verdict: please log in to view this image I'm not even sure I've ever heard Aberdeen fans sing this song. According to this website, however, they do - especially against Rangers and Celtic. I'm not sure I trust the site, although it does appear to have got quite a few things correct (and it would have saved me wracking my enfeebled brains had I found the place sooner). Who let the huns out, Who who who who, Who let the huns out, Who who who who... Hmm. Verdict: please log in to view this image
