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Offshore Library

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by VenomPD, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Was making myself a cup of tea about 10 minutes ago and this guy comes up to me. It's his first time on this platform and he only arrived at 1pm today. He goes to me "Excuse me mate, you don't know where I could find the platform library?" So I deadpanned him and said "Follow me"

    I take him out of the TV room and round the corner to a glass cabinet containing two Gideon Bibles, A "What PC" magazine from 2 years ago and Ian Botham's autobiography. "Take your pick, pal" I said then walked away <laugh> <laugh> Poor **** must have thought I was taking the pish out of him, when I actually wasn't. Poorest excuse for a "Library" offshore I've ever seen.
     
    #1
    VenomPD, Oct 12, 2010
  2. Neville Bartos

    Neville Bartos Guest

    you'd have to opt for Beefy's book. even tho its probably the worst book ever, apart from the bible <laugh>
     
    #2
    Neville Bartos, Oct 12, 2010
  3. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> The sad thing is that Botham's autobiography is no longer there. I just nipped upstairs to check. The boy must have been desperate.

    I've been to platforms with hundreds of books in a wee cupboard and others with a full room with bookcases and chairs so it's a nice wee room to chill out in without any **** disturbing you. This place is by far the worst of all.

    Someone even asked me in September "Why do you always have a book when I see you?" <doh>


    P.S.: I got about 20 pages into that Jeffery Lord "Blade" book and it was ****ing awful. Not even going to try and finish it.
     
    #3
    VenomPD, Oct 12, 2010
  4. Neville Bartos

    Neville Bartos Guest

    you'd think with the money that gets flung about on wages willy nilly the could make the platform a bit more human friendly.
     
    #4
    Neville Bartos, Oct 12, 2010
  5. BolloBollo

    BolloBollo Active Member

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    <actuallyheshothisloadandhadtoputitdownmuir>
    <he'llbereadingitagaintonight>
     
    #5
    BolloBollo, Oct 12, 2010
  6. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Nev - They don't give a ****. Been meant to be upgrading the cabins to Sky Plus and LCD TV's for about 8 months now. There is a welfare fund but some of it was spent on 4 guitars that I've never seen out of the cupboard they're in. This platform takes **** all Oil out compared to the newer ones some of them are taking in 10 times as much as us a day.

    Bollo - <HomoEroticReaganiteMuir> Started reading Kinky Friedman's book "Spanking Watson" funny as **** so far
     
    #6
    VenomPD, Oct 12, 2010

  7. BolloBollo

    BolloBollo Active Member

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    Just had a wee look at the reviews on Amazon. Looks like a good chuckle V. Just ordered it <ok>
     
    #7
    BolloBollo, Oct 12, 2010
  8. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Bollo, you'll not be disappointed <ok>

    Aye, Kinky Friedman is a total legend. Someone posted one of his bands songs on here and he also ran for Governor of Texas and came 4th.

    [video=youtube;ESNCWrks6vQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESNCWrks6vQ[/video]
     
    #8
    VenomPD, Oct 12, 2010
  9. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    or maybe they just think "....with the money that gets flung about on wages willy nilly out here, **** them. tight-fisted ****ers."
     
    #9
    lone ranger, Oct 12, 2010

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