*Robin has come to Arsene's office for talks of a new contract. Robin knocks on the door.* Arsene: COME! *Robin enters. He walks in to find Arsene sitting at his desk, he's wearing an Arsenal scarf.* Robin: Hi Arsene, I'm here for the contract talk. Arsene: Yes! Sit down Robin! Cigarette? *Arsene offers a cigarette.* Robin: No, I don't smoke and neither do you. Arsene: I know, but I like to offer none the less. Would you like a cup of coffee? Here! Take mine! *Robin sits down and drinks from Arsene's coffee.* Arsene: Now! Let's get down to business. We would like to make you an offer my boy! I'm going to write down a figure on a piece of paper. *Arsene scribbles down on some paper and slides it across to Robin. Robin picks it up and reads.* Robin: This is a generous offer Arsene, but it's not just about the money. I want guarantees that the club will spend in the Summer. Arsene : Spend!? Robin: Yes! Are there any plans to bring in some new good players? Arsene: ......................... Robin: Well!? Arsene: Actually! Yes! We are! We have a new player coming in this Summer. The whole thing has been finalised! Robin: Brilliant! Who is he!? Arsene: He's a brilliant talent! Take a look! *Arsene hands over to Robin a photo of Jack Wilshere.* Robin: This is Jack. Arsene : Yes! Robin: He already plays for Arsenal. This is not a new signing. Arsene: But when he comes back from injury it will be like a new signing! Robin: Arsene! You are insulting me! Arsene: Is it my hair? My hair tends to upset people. Robin: No! It's this whole contract negotiation! I'm off Arsene! *Robin moves to stand up but Arsene speaks.* Arsene: OK Robin. I do have news of other players we are signing. *Robin sits back down.* Robin: OK, who? *Arsene stares off into the distance.* Arsene: Ermmm.......Yes! We are getting that Gotze fella! And Hazard! You like Hazard don't you!? Robin: Hazard and Gotze! Yeah! They are brilliant! This is great news Arsene! I may just consider a new contract over this news! *Arsene smiles.* Arsene: Great! Well I have been having talks with their agents......a Mr Lanz and Mr Schneider. Robin: Fantastic! Well! Where do I sign? *Arsene hands over the contract and Robin signs. They shake hands.* Robin: I'm very happy Arsene! Arsene: As am I! Now, I am going downstairs for a muffin. Would you like a muffin? Robin: OK! *Arsene gets up and walks out the door limping and holding the contract. Robin is left sitting down. He stands and takes a sip of his coffee. He turns around and looks at the noticeboard that was behind him. He let's his eyes wander over the notices. He takes another sip of coffee.* *Suddenly we see Robin drop his coffee mug, it drops in slow motion and breaks on the floor. He reads a card for a Lawyer company 'Lanz and Schneider'. He sees posters of a goat on the wall and a hazard warning sign.* Robin: Oh my God! *Robin rushes out the room and down the stairs. He shouts at the receptionist.* Robin: WHERE'S ARSENE!? Receptionist: Arsene? Who's Arsene? Robin: YOU KNOW! THE TALL WRINKLY MAN WITH THE SLEEPING BAG COAT AND THE LIMP! WHERE IS HE!? Receptionist: Oh him! He walked out just a few moments ago. *Robin rushes out the door. He looks up and down the street. He sees people walking but no Arsene.* *Meanwhile Arsene is limping down the street, his pace becomes normal. He stops and lights a cigarette. A car pulls up and Theo opens the door. Arsene gets in and they drive away. And like that........he's gone. Theo talks to Arsene in the rearview mirror.* Theo : Did you get me a muffin? OK It was written by Lady Eown, but seeing as s/he refuses to come on ehre I just felt it necessary to cheer us up
