office pets

What the **** is that all about? I'm working in an office which has a pet dog just now.

Its 17 years old and deaf and covered in scars from where it has had tumours chopped off. All it does is lie on the floor twitching or hobbling about in obvious pain.

Its wanting a shovel to the heid.

 

Is your boss a Geordie?

 

Kill the dog Kim, you know you want to

 

Naw but his mrs is from birmingham and weighs about the same as pud.

 

It could have explained the scars, those kinky ****ers get up to all sorts.

The most humane thing you could do is stick some poisoned food down and let the poor ****er go rot under a cupboard somewhere

 

Old age does that to you

 

Wakey wakey you ****ing ***** spazzy ****

There always seems to be at least one dog in every office I've ever worked in.

 

boring **** alert part 2.

 

You going to follow me around all night?

Your life is pretty exciting

 

How about if you licked the geordie spunk out of the dogs arse, would that give you long life too ?

 

come back to me once you have shagged something, other than your mum and dad that is.

 

Seen a few of these in the office, dunno if they are pets. Get a big hemmer Kim.

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I think Toby would make a good office pet. You could scratch his belly and pat his head and everything.

 

My first ever job was at an automotive factory in Waltham Cross, Hertfordshire. Next to me on the production line was a really annoying Italian women who would constantly go on at me about my weight, smoking habits and long hair.

So, the day after my tarantula shed its skin I took the carcass into work and placed it inside the hydraulic pressing machine that this old bag used to operate. Now, if you have ever seen a large spider shed its skin then you will know that its discarded shell looks like an exact replica.

When this women opened her machine and saw a saucer-sized Chile Rose tarantula sitting there, she screamed, pissed herself and then fainted.

I was sacked later that day.