Off Topic: Stupidest thing you've ever done?

It's getting late and the only interesting thing going on seems to be discussing racism claims with a friendly neighbourhood terrorist target and arguing with a moron about Coloccini being happy to stay.

So what's the stupidest thing you've ever done in your amazing lives people. This is not internet related however, let's get some good personal stories going

Mine is when I was a young I was helping me Mum get the new coach out of it's rapping (you know the really thin transparent ****) and in my lazyness I decided to just get out a knife when she slipped out and started to slice me way through the stuff while watching telly at the same time. Needless to say..slice in the coach..I panic and tried to cover it with the remote..praying she wouldn't walk in and move it. Which of course she did. I was not fed for the next day and was told I was to be stuck in my room for a month. BUT I only spent one day in my room as she filed a complaint in and said the coach was damaged upon arrival. (and I was lucky that the coach was pretty hard anyway ) Now your turn

 

The stupidest thing i've done was shag my neighbour, infront her dog and bloke ****ing on a ladder outside.



Edit - There was a jogger running past the house as well, staring at the bloke ****ing on the ladder.

 

I said your personal story not Roy Keanes!

 

I was demonstrating the probable reason for someone crying, which, by my reckoning was headbutting a wall. Needless to say, rather than stopping my head before the wall, i headbutted it at full force.

 

1 year ago.

Just come in from a night out with some mates, so am fairly intoxicated. I don't know why I did it, but I decided it would be a great idea to colour in the dining room table with a green permanent marker. 7 hours later and my dad walks downstairs to find the whole table green bar the middle bit, all of the legs and stuff as well. I was asleep with my face on the table. Obviously he went mad at me and made me pay for a new table. Also, as I slept with my face on the table, the permanent marker went on my face. I washed 5 TIMES that day and it wouldn't go off, so I had to go into college with half my face green.


All good banter though, I just kept telling people that they wouldn't like to see me angry.

 

Did her little dog bark to see such fun?

 

If the bloke on the ladder was wearing a helmet then that would be two helmets in one scene.

Edit: Well, four.

The blokes on the ladder

You as a person

The end of the blokes cock

The dong hanging off your forehead.

 

Doing a "science experiment" that involved flames in a shed that went horribly wrong.

Well at least that's what I told my mother. I still can't believe I got away with that.

 

No, the little **** was caught up in a decision on whether to shag her owner, shag me, shag the table or bite the ****er outside.

 

Hahaha! Oh that's a good one

 

I once proclaimed that "all Scousers are doggers", whilst sober and in front of my brother and his fiance. His fiance who's entire family are from Liverpool.

I do now take back this statement, and I don't think they're all doggers, just a lot of them. Probably more than there should be.

 

What was your brother thinking?

 

My thoughts exactly

 

Hmmm, ive dont alot of stupid things.

One that does jump out at me though was when I was 17, me and my friends decided to see if we could get served in town. After trying and failing in many places around town, we found one place (Stone Roses) where we were finally successful. I ended up savouring the moment so much, I drank about 6 pints in around 1 and a half...ended up running outside without myshirt on, and jumping onto a narrowboat that was moored up alongside the riverside. I then proceeded to knock on the boat and start saying "hello boat" numerous times, before then falling back, over the side and into the depths of the river ouse. Had to be fished out by some scottish lads on a stag do.

There are plenty more stories, but some of themI just plain dont remember, and others are just not meant to be said on internet forums haha!

 

What did the scots ask for in payment? Your shirt?

 

When I was eurorailing I took a train from Copenhagen to Hamburg, and for a bit of the journey the train goes on a ferry. You have to get off the train in the bottom of the ferry and go up with the other passengers whilst the ship is at sea. But I dozed off on the way across and missed the announcement to return to the train. Woke up and panicked thinking there weren't enough people around and ran down to the lowest deck of the ship just in time to see the train doors close. The guard wouldn't or couldn't open them for me. Minutes later the train started moving and left the ferry returning to dry land and started to disappear of into the distance. Problem was my backpack was still on the train.

So I did what any sensible traveller does in this situation. I jumped onto the tracks and ran after the train, dodging the ferrymen who tried to catch me. Fortunately there was a train station for the port four of five hundred meters along the tracks and I managed to catch up and get on the train just before it pulled away.

Some Aussies i'd been chatting to earlier laughed when I got on and officially labelled me a total twat! Couldn't argue with their logic to be fair

 

stuck my bare arse on a fence teasing an aggressive jack russell... he bit my sack.

 

This must have looked hilarious.

 

The little ones are always the most dangerous.

 

Hahaha love the aussie bit