We all like to laugh at other peoples misfortunes so in the spirit of bringing much needed mirth to a cold January day, what's the most painful, but funny, sporting injury you've suffered? I'm not talking the ones here some fat bastard broke your leg during a Sunday league match, I'm talking something which hurt like a bastard but which caused great amusement. I'll kick things off Done this 2x, once when I was about 15 and again when I was about 27. Playing footie (for school when younger and men's team when older) and it was pissing it down both times. Ball was flying along the surface and our wingers smashed a cross along the ground, evading the defence. Having preempted the cross, I was hairarsing it into the area and timed the slide to perfection, getting great connection and taking the glory as the ball nestled in the net. Much adoration from team mates and celebrations is the traditional next step. Not this time as they, along with the the other side and even the useless twatting ref were unablet breathe through laughing too much having witnessed my glorious slide ed with me banging, full pelt, legs akimbo into the goal posts. Anyone who says that child birth is the most painful experience on earth has never slammed into goal posts, smashing captain ball bag and bombers into, on the second occasion, a metal post and on the first occasion, the old square wooden goal posts - first time hurt more as the bloody corners of the post ripped my legs to shreds as well and my old dear (my oldies always came to wach) shouted, in her most sympathetic voice, " make sure youve still got 2 darling" shortly followed by "you'll be alright, it's not like you need them yet" Still makes me wince now when I see people sliding in the area now.
I have a little scar on my right hand fore finger, it starts at the bottom of my nail and is about 5mm long. Not much of a scar but the pain made my eyes water several times. My sport has always been field hockey. The game is different now, we played on grass, with a ball that was like a leather cricket ball, but white. Everyone knows about a bully off, they are not used now but where a major part of the game then. I faced a player who was a nasty piece of work, we had clashed several times and both had hacked at each other, but then we had to bully off against each other. This involved taping the heel of the stick on the floor and then the opponents stick, three times before going for the ball. Once, twice, ok but on the third he pulled his stick back and hit my stick that hard that it cracked, the biggest problem was that my finger was in between. It became that swollen that it split my skin, my nail was at ninety degrees. The. Swelling had to be eased by lancing. The effect was that I never held my stick in the same grip again and it actually changed the way that I played.
Playing rugby, mate of mine from Goole, who was about 22 stone at the time on the other team, I'm legging it with the ball to score, the fooker jumps (no idea how), lands on me and totally flattens me, arm outstretched, like 5 inches from the line. I can't move, wind knocked outa me, and turns out later on a cracked rib, rest of my team runs over and moans at me for not pushing forward to score...bastards.
We've all had a football crunch our nadz before right ? Hows about three times in one game ? True story ! I have no children
