But it is football related......ish. A small zoo in Newcastle acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Geordie McKay, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Boaby, like many Newcastle folk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Geordie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500 ? Geordie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions: 1. "First", Geordie said, "Ah'm not ganna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition. 2. "Second", he said, "Ya cannet never tell anybody aboot this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition. 3. "Third", Geordie said, "I want all the bairns raised as Toon fans." Once again it was agreed. 4. "And last of all", Geordie stated, "You've got ta give me another week ta come up with the £500".
