That got your attention eh?? Well, I witnessed it, and it weren't pretty. There I was, the other night, in the Ye Olde Black Boy (pint of Jorvik, if you please) having a lovely relaxing beer & chat. Not too busy in there, but still enough for the atmosphere to be nice. In front of me, a table of two men and two women, 50s I'd estimate, looked like seasoned drinkers. From nowhere, the fatter of the men, completely mid-sentence just belched out this torrent of vomit. He tried for a moment to act like nothing had happened, but then looked at the horrified women in his presence and said "Oh I've just been sick in front of you, how embarrassing." It. Was. Vile. He then carried on talking, sick on feet, as if it was normal and he could just brush the entire episode under the proverbial carpet. Well I couldn't. My eyes were burned. He then proceeded to glug more beer. In a way, I felt it was justice, as he'd been in Dirty Nellys (or Lion & Key, as I believe it is now renamed) just prior, slouched like a slob in a big chair, thinking he was hilarious by farting all the time. I pinpointed him there and then as dreadful waste of space. I am sorry for bringing this grim episode to your attention, but it really scarred me and I can't stop picturing his pig fat face filling with sick. He was a barrel bellied bloater, surely he can take his ale? It seems not. The birds he was with soon seemed to forget too. How? It reminded me of a similar event years back when a girl started chatting up one of my mates in Pozition, she took a moment out to have some sick between her feet, then wiped her mouth and carried on with the charm. It was all there, for everyone to see on the floor, but she was on a mission I guess so carried on regardless. It is not clear whether my mate went through with it, he probably did. So there it is. I felt the need to get this off my chest as it was horrific and I need to purge my memory banks. I was speechless at the time, and wish now I'd chastised him for his uncouth behaviour, especially in the company of ladies. But I think I just stared, face etched in shock and horror, trying to make sense of it all. The bloke just did not give a ****. I did. The mucky ****.
I don't bother with nights out anymore not being in good health or particularly bothered about drinking for the sake of it but saw enough of these kind of 'incidents' back in the day, once you don't drink much anymore you see the reality of drunken nights out and it's not that pretty really
Last time i puked , much to my horror it went over my bed and all over a really stunning nurse in castle hill. That R-dhap chemo was a bastard .. I must say I felt a right twat as it was all over nice nursie ..)
Not really the same though fella- chemo induced sick. Fat bloke in pub v sick patient. I'm sure the nurse understood. I hope everything is on the mend....
I had one of my legendary barbecues yesterday. Plenty of nose bag and booze for everyone plus a dash of frivolity made for a great day. At around one in the morning my mate informed me that he'd just been sick in my next door neighbours garden. Not good. In my whiskey induced state of inebriation I went in search of said vomitus armed with a mag lite torch and for some reason a bottle of Indian tonic water. I thought the bubbles would assist in breaking down the sick , a bit like that Oxy Action stuff. Like I say I was Franz Klammered. Once I had found the horrible pile of bright red puke( he'd been supping red wine) I tried to wash it away with the tonic water, which didn't really work. In fact it didn't work at all such was the density of daft lads barf. I then proceeded to cover it up with shingle off the drive and some leaves from a nearby shrub. Thank **** it pissed it down last night otherwise my neighbour would be no doubt have been paying me a visit. My mate has been suitably chastised but he fails to see anything other than humour in the whole incident. What a ****house.
Did you manage to retain your sausages & burgers if you'd been slurping the whiskey? I can imagine a 1am vomit search could be quite amusing actually. I'd maybe utilise the 'piss' option, rather than fizzy water. But it's a free choice, no pressure.
I drank a fair bit of a ten year old Isle of Jura on top of a few, quite a few, Yuri Gellers, but I was on fine form so my food stayed tucked away. Thanks for asking. As for pissing on the vom? The contaminated area was more or less under my next door neighbours bedroom window. She wouldn't have been overjoyed at seeing me washing away a pile of puke from her garden with a bottle of tonic water should she have looked out of her window. She'd have been downright offended if she looked down and I was trying to wash it away by pissing on it. Good job you live in a flat pal.
"Yeah, take that vomit pile" you could have said. Then if your fuddy duddy neighbour caught a glimpse, you could have informed her there was a spare sausage left, with a knowing wink. "Get off my lawn, you monster" "Yeah, I've got a long yellow cable" you retort. So ensues a 'doggybrown' style comedy-porn outcome. Job done.
I thought you was in Spain. Anyway it was my do and the last thing I'd want is you swanning around my gaff, vest on, tatts out. Basically stealing my thunder. No ****ing way Jose!!!
