I'd like to think I would adopt a similar disposition under those circumstances.... In reality I'd be like everyone else.
I experienced a similar thing in Syria. I'd been visiting some of the crusader fortresses during the day, and that evening I dined at a restaurant just outside of Damascus. My tea and lamb stew had arrived, and I was just beginning to relax when a group of armed men rushed in and started beating the crap out of the owner and his staff. Bullets were fired into the ceiling, tables and chairs were smashed, and my dinner ended up on the floor. I didn't move. I just looked on. As the raiders were leaving, the apparent leader stopped, looked down at me and said, 'I'm so sorry about your food. As a visitor to our country, you should not have witnessed such a thing. Have this, please.' He handed me a roll of notes, about £50, and then left. I went back to my hotel and threw up. And, yes, that is a true story.
I was walking home from work near the Boucher road in Belfast about 10 years back, past the top of the Loyalist Village area. As I turned a corner there was a big riotous group of Loyalist youths standing at the side of the road, bricks and golf balls in hand. If I turn left (or back) at that point I'm a Fenian and will have to run like **** (I'm not very fast), but if I turn right I'm a Hun. I walked straight into the middle of them and give it the "alright lads, get into them Fenian ****s, yeooooooo" then walked peacefully through the Loyalist area and out the other side to Belfast city centre.
Similar thing happened to me walking through pollokshields, a big group of local lads all standing in the pavement. I panicked and just said "awright homies, proper G-star halal innit bro?" and just sauntered through cool as you like
desperately searches for a come back... I wouldn't need to run if you cowardly free-state ****s hadn't of abandoned us up here, eh, eh
The answer to that would be a 20 pager at least,best save it for another day but you'd have to admit the thoughts of a loyalist gang chasing a bloke with one big shoe is pretty funny.
I was eating a tray of chips after a night out, and some bird strolled over, as bold as brass, and took one of my chips!
We was walking back from the pub the other night When we saw this dealer boy slapping his bird There'd been a whore murdered the other week So we thought we'd better look out for her Then he grabbed her by the throat and chucked her on the deck Then he turns to us and said "What the **** are you bogging at, do you want some ****ing shirts off or what?"
