It has just been announced that Newcastle have been awarded the highest honour that vaseline can bestow on a city. This prestigious award is only given to those areas that sell a hundred thousand units of the infamous water based lubricant per day, and to be honest I wasn't surprised they had won, but what did surprise me was what they were using it for, and no it wasn't the obvious reason that we're all thinking of. The locals rub it on their hands, to stop their knuckles chaffing on the ground when they walk. Yeah I know.......... but I'm bored.
Vauxsamson - you are a truly disgusting creature, viz : It's simple............I don't believe in god, I don't believe in the easter bunny and I don't believe in santa, but I do believe in Niall Quinn, Steve Bruce and Sunderland AFC. Now that offends me. It really, really is offensive blasphemy and you've no right to write it. I'll have your know I've eaten salads with the Easter Bunny. So there. Hey, hey, so I'm nuts. I'm happy, all right? So what's the problem? I'm not a salad lover but it wasn't bad. All right? Hey ... !
I read reports of an Earthquake in Sunderland recently - cracks opening up in the streets, dozens of buildings crumbling to the ground: possibly as much as twenty-five pounds worth of damage The local council have taken credit for the improvements.
