Match Day Thread Newcastle United Vs. Sunderland AFC

Well it's that time of year again. We have to make the short journey over the river into the darklands, avoiding all the shady characters to make our way to the Stadium of ****e. This little soulless ground, is typical of the shoddy pre-fabricated crap stadiums built in the late 90's. Obviously trying to keep up with the neighbours yet failing miserably, the stadium is so crap, they even stole the name from a much better one in Portugal (cue some bitter mackem whining about translation etc).

Believe it or not we have somehow managed to have a shocking recent record against this bunch of inbreds. We've lost a few games in a row (I forget how many exactly). Obviously this has all been part of a pre-planned agreement where we keep them in division for the sake of the derbies and North East football in general.

This year that all comes to an end as we have found ourselves mired in the dung from an early stage so the charity has to stop.

Injuries

Newcastle
T Krul ACL Knee Injury Jul 16
K Mbabu Hamstring Injury 25th Oct 15 very doubtful
G Obertan Hamstring Injury 31st Oct 15
R Aarons Calf/Shin Injury 31st Oct 15
K Darlow Ankle/Foot Injury 21st Nov 15
S Taylor Hamstring Injury 5th Dec 15
E Riviere Knee Injury May still need an operation on his Mensicus. McClaren will monitor his progress over the next few weeks. 31st Oct 15
C Good Hip/Thigh Injury Seemingly unable to catch a break from injury, the young Aussie is still suffering with a troublesome hip problem that he sustained back in February. 31st Oct 15
S Marveaux Gilmores Groin The midfielder is still struggling for fitness, may make a return after the international break. 31st Oct 15

Scummers
D Watmore Gayness Injury no return date
O Toivonen Doesn't want his kids near Adam Johnson Injury 25th Oct 15
J Rodwell Elijah Price Syndrome Injury 25th Oct 15
A Matthews Who gives a **** Injury 25th Oct 15 doubtful

Record at the SOS in Recent History

2014/15 lost 0-1
2013/14 lost 1-2 Debuchy
2012/13 drew 1-1 Cabaye
2011/12 won 1-0 R.Taylor
2010/11 drew 1-1 Nolan
2008/09 lost 1-2 Ameobi
2007/08 drew 1-1 Milner
2005/06 won 4-1 Chopra, Shearer, N'Zogbia, Luque
2002/03 won 1-0 Solano
2001/02 won 1-0 Dabizas
2000/01 drew 1-1 A.O'Brien
1999/00 drew 2-2 Domi, Helder

Current Form

Newcastle
Last six results
BPL 29 Aug 2015 v Arsenal (H) 0 - 1
BPL 14 Sep 2015 v West Ham (A) 2 - 0
BPL 19 Sep 2015 v Watford (H) 1 - 2
BPL 26 Sep 2015 v Chelsea (H) 2 - 2
BPL 3 Oct 2015 v Man City (A) 6 - 1
BPL 18 Oct 2015 v Norwich (H) 6 - 2

Sunderland
Last six results
BPL 29 Aug 2015 v Aston Villa (A) 2 - 2
BPL 13 Sep 2015 v Spurs (H) 0 - 1
BPL 19 Sep 2015 v Bournemouth (A) 2 - 0
BPL 26 Sep 2015 v Man Utd (A) 3 - 0
BPL 3 Oct 2015 v West Ham (H) 2 - 2
BPL 17 Oct 2015 v West Brom (A) 1-0

Ref
Robert Madley - first toon appointment of the season for this West Yorkshire-based official, whose two games last season went the way of the away side: our 3-2 League Cup win at Palace and a 1-2 home defeat by Southampton.

Managers

Schteve McClaren - "Yesh we need to to be more conshishtent, however with our front four we alwaysh in with a schniff no"

Sam Allardyce - "I am a massive fan of the Lockheed SR-71. I also like Noel Gallaghers High Flying Birds, they are my favourite band. Needless to say my style of football mirrors my personal interests."

Betting (Courtesy Paddy Power)

please log in to view this image

Sunderland Win 6/4 Newcastle Win 9/5 Draw 9/4

My prediction

We will sneak a 7-1 victory

 

Mackems to win 1-0.

The goal will come as the ball, whilst heading for Mars deflects offof a seagull and bounces down into the net.

 

**** all this sensible **** and doom-mongering that I normally feel for the derby. I'm happy to set myself up for some egg on my face. I reckon the score will be...

Sunderland 1 - 10 Newcastle.

If that happens we wont even get a chance to gloat about it as the rush to change signatures from the mackems will probably crash the system!

 

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

please log in to view this image

please log in to view this image

 

I can't bring myself to think what defeat will be like to them AGAIN, when we are already bottom 3.

We must win. WE MUST! I just have no confidence that we we can pull this off.

I may go into hibernating for winter by around Friday.







Oh sod it, I'll go for a 2-1 win. COME ON!

 

please log in to view this image

 

I'm going for a 2-2 Draw. Sunderland will be up for it, and we might be shakey defensively.

I see goals and more goals in this game.

Just DON'T ****ING LOSE. Go there to win, but if it's a good game and we get a point, then I don't mind. Losing would be pretty bad for us.

 

We need to keep hold of the ball as much as possible.
The mackems normally leave at half time if they are having a rough time don't they?

 

So who's got tickets?

 

Nope.

But I have extra long loo roll.

 

I'm in Bridlington sat night so will bool up the A19 in time to get out in Consett.

 

Excellent match thread Mitro. Much better than ACS's efforts.
Still disappointed we changed a winning formula but as it was at ACS insistence then I will blame him if it goes txts up. Have counteracted this by still not renewing satellite subscription and will put another bet on Newcastle to win 2-1 and expect another 6-2 goal fest in our favour.

 

Honestly think McClaren will think attack is the best form of defence and he cant be critisised by fans for trying to win the game. He played very attacking football in the first half of last season with Derby. After Norwich im hoping that the players confidence are sky high.

On that basis it will either be 72 - 0 or 4-1

 

I know I was staunchly against the change as my female butler had other 'tasks'. It meant I only got to slap her across the face 4 times with my wanger and didn't have time for anal. Very disappointing. Bless Suk In though, she did a canny job of the thread. I hope for ACSs sake we get a result, or everyone will really start to wonder if those days being dragged to roker are still influencing him to this day

 

Definitely a newcastle win without a doubt

 

Trust Uncle ACS... do I ever promise and not deliver?

 

Looks uncannily like someone elses format doesn't it, without the pizazz and nice pictures...

 

As I mistyped my 6-2 prediction as 2-1 last week ..I will not dare incur the wrath of the toon footballing gods by changing it (unlike ACS messing around with a winning formula vs match threads)

1-2 win

That said I ..REALLY ..think we will win 65- 3 including a try, a touchdown, 3 home runs and 6 wides ...The 3 the unwashed score is mito being confused about which way he should be pointing after we swap ends at half time ...3 minutes later he will realise and normal service will be resumed