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Match Day Thread Newcastle United v Sunderland - Official Joint Match Day Thread

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Mar 14, 2016.

?

What will the result be?

Poll closed Mar 20, 2016.
  1. Newcastle win

    25 vote(s)
    49.0%
  2. Draw

    12 vote(s)
    23.5%
  3. Mackem win

    14 vote(s)
    27.5%
  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    please log in to view this image


    Brought to you via Commachio (on his mobile) and ACS.....

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    V

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    Well the time is drawing near. The Tyne and Wear deby, aka The Pantomine.

    Newcastle have a new manager, some fat bloke found drifting of the coast of Gibralter on a lilo, dressed in a waiters uniform and only able to say 'Keh, i no understood'.

    It transpires this was no ordinary refugee trying to make the shores of the UK. Indeed once his Tapas bar failed in downtown Benidorm, Rafa Manuel Benitez had dabbled a bit in football management. Without much success and fleeting between a number of small clubs.

    So after recovering from sun stroke, he had a friend pen a letter to Fat Mike, the owner of the Sid James Park Bigtop circus, stating that the clown they had wasnt very funny, and given nothing more than a big red nose and an air horn, he could put a smile on the Jawdee nashun.

    Fat Mike was touched, he liked a good laugh, so gave Steve McClown a big clown boot up the back bum and thus Manuel has his dream job. A bigtop sometimes full with Al the lads and lasses, but nee smiley faces. But with lots of amatuer clowns to work with.

    ........................


    He find himself having to face an old friend, the smiling big fireman Sam Allerdyce. These 2 are old pals. Sam likes the way Manuel makes people point their fingers and laugh. When these 2 get together its like Laurel and Hardy but Laurels been on a gregg diet.

    ..........................

    With 6 in a row (a record) under their belt, Fireman Sam leads his firefighters into the bigtop once again. Chief firefighters Defoe and Borini once again out to dampen the clowns in black and white, who aimesly run around the pitch falling over or crashing into goalposts.

    Officer Cattermole may return, as he has heard Tiote has been honking peoples noses.

    Massive Sam also has some heavyweight firepower in the KKK. Kaboul, Kirchoff and Khazri. But recruits PVA and Yedin havnt quite reached passing out stage yet and Coco and co may try and run clown circles around them.

    Still at the end of the show it should be.

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    And everyone heading back from the bigtop to Wearside singing.

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    FTM.

    or.....

    Whilst 7 in a row will be hard for many Mackems to count, it hasn’t stopped tissue sales tripling around SR1 as fans salivate at the thought of another derby day win as they persue cup final number 7.

    Meanwhile, back on Tyneside... aka the Dubai of the North to Sunderland’s Beirut.... Chorizo sales have hit an all time high as Geordies grab as much Spanish sausage as they can in advance of their last minute booking to Benidorm.

    To say Rafa Benitez has lifted the mood is an understatement as, even Mr Tiote was seen buying extra muesli with a spring in his step.

    The Toon have injuries clearing up rapidly (what a surprise) and SJP is set to be rocking as Rafa takes the pulpit for the first time to preach to the sell out 52,000 crowd.

    Add to this.. the fact that this game has major ramifications in the race for safety and it is sure to be a mahoooooosive nail biter to say the least.

    So will Toon fans be downing their Brown Ale with a smile on their face at full time or will Sunderland fans be downing their blue pop or milk with glee...

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    Maybe Comm will put his old superhero outfit on again?

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    you decide......
     
    #1
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2016
  2. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Thanks to Comm sending his material from his phone in the deep South of Thailand.
    He has some lovely videos to post when he is out of the jungle.
     
    #2
  3. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    That outfit does me no justice. It makes me look like ive got a bigger fanny than mag slag Cheryl 'will suck chucky for a pund' Tweedy.

    We all know thats impossible.
     
    #3
  4. Toon_Man_Sam1

    Toon_Man_Sam1 Well-Known Member

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    #4
  5. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    You also appear to have two testicles connected at very odd positions on your waist. According to Fredor they had already been removed when this photo was taken and you were storing them in your pockets until the hormones kicked in.
     
    #5
  6. JakartaToon

    JakartaToon Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    Regardless of the anatomical issues with the photo this is much better than Albert's efforts
     
    #6
    J. J. McClure likes this.

  7. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    I thought this was offering out spliffs, very disappointed
     
    #7
  8. Nolberto's Salsa Inferno

    Nolberto's Salsa Inferno Well-Known Member

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    Not sure why there is a picture of a cute lass with a horrible disfiguring growth from her left arm ..mind
     
    #8
  9. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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  10. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    Like it J. Trying to keep the game about football and not inflame a potentially volatile situation.

    :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #10
  11. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Eh?

    What game? It's a Match-Day Thread I thought.

    This thread really should include some healthy banter and I just thought I would include these classics :emoticon-0103-cool:
     
    #11
  12. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    Sorry, my bad. Should have read "thread" not "game".

    Was thinking of just editing post and asking what on earth you were on about but am to honest for that !!

    :bandit:
     
    #12
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  13. Sammy's Silky Skills

    Sammy's Silky Skills Well-Known Member

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    If we win this we could send the Mackems down. It's a big IF.
    I'm going draw.
     
    #13
  14. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Defeat 3-1. We're ****e.
     
    #14
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  15. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

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    Just to let you know I'll be pinching some of your comments for my preview on Roker Report <ok>
     
    #15
    QWOP likes this.
  16. monty987

    monty987 Well-Known Member

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    7 in a row will happen on Sunday ! where there hell is your attacking players ! hehe. Borini and Defoe to help themselves.
     
    #16
    J. J. McClure likes this.
  17. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Good old Monty.
     
    #17
  18. Gordonthetoony

    Gordonthetoony Well-Known Member

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    Sorry Mackems, I think you'll find the Toon a lot different proposition in this game than in previous encounters. Rafa in 2 days had them more organized than McClaren had in 9 months.
     
    #18
  19. fredor

    fredor Well-Known Member

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    Newcastle have some very good individuals, Sunderland have a team , Have to agree with your organised chaos comment
     
    #19
  20. fredor

    fredor Well-Known Member

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    Unlike previous seasons I am getting the impression that everyone is trying to be nice to each other, I am going to put a Black Cat among the Magpies ( Does that have racist overtones ) and tell it like it is
    Newcastle players give me the impression that if they were given another five or ten minutes to make a decision they may make the correct one, I get frustrated watching them as they remind me of my internet connection
    Whereas Sunderland are blessed with pace, It could be said they have more speed than a Newcastle night club . albeit of a different variety
    I have no doubt these observations will become obvious to all of the Rif Raffa over the coming week
     
    #20

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