I have been working in an old ironmongers today and there was a dog left behind there. So I picked him up and took him home, As soon as I got him inside he made a bolt for the door.
There were three buddies talking at lunch about the night before. The first guy says, "Man, we drank way too much. I got out of the cab and sicked all over the front lawn. Boy, was the wife ever mad." The second guy says, "That's nothing, I was so drunk I drove the car right through the back of the garage. I didn't even know it until I came out this morning to go to work." The third guy says, "You guys don't know what drunk is. I came home last night and I blew chunkys." The first guy says, "I told you I threw up all over the place." The third guy says, "You don't understand, Chunky is my dog."