Off Topic nearly time for you to kiss your mates pissed up wife

Under the mistletoe as you pop round to say hello.

But as you enter their home there is always some music playing.

So what songs do you dread hearing at xmas time, or which do you like?


Or even better any stories on pissed up wives/girlfreinds and mistltoe.

 

Spill the beans Comm! <waiting>

 

I remmember going to a New Years party.
This was about 15 years ago and I was still no young chicken.
Well the ****e music was playing the house was full of teenagers
Me and my mate came in slightly drunk,well I just had to have a dance.this big gorgeous not fat but nice young woman just couldn't resist me.i was going to the Dom rep later on in the year and I showed yer how to do the merengae ( for those who don't know) the merengae is a very provocative dance where you dance with the body very close.
We sure had am great time.
There was no kissing involved.

 

Sounds like guilt to me. What are you dying to confess to Comm?

 

My best mates wife got really slim for when they got married. So a bit of a peck at spendathon time wasnt a chore.

But time went by. She got no taller. Just expanded. Last time i saw her. She was a bit tipsy. Tries the old snog. Urrgghhh. It how i imagine kissing an bladder blown puffer fish would be.

 

Slade's "I wish it could be Christmas every year" Horrible noisy sh*t, makes my ears bleed.

 

No. Just curious. It was meant actually to be about **** xmas songs. Dont know why i mentioned pissed up wives. Didnt take you long to click onto it.

 

When you say big not fat. This rings alarm bells.

 

Aweful ****ing noise.

 

****ing cracking that Vince.,

 

Yeh mate she was slim and fit about 5/11 and gorgeous

 

I used to have a mate at Low Fell who used to film me shagging his wife.
I **** you not & I swear on my kids life.

 

In a taxi?

.****ing hell only billy

 

My mate fancied himself as a gigalo.
He answered an ad and went to consett when he came to work the next day and told the tale.
He says she tried to keep him hostage and us him as will.obviously he got away.
He never done it again

 

No not in a taxi, in his house just up Beacon Lough Rd.
He's worked all over the middle east as a fitter when they were doing the oil pipe lines.
Anyway, he couldn't get a stiffie due to the drugs they gave him so he asked me if I'd shag his lass.
So I did, several times while he video'd it.

 

Fantastic. Chuckling to myself.

 

I'm from Low Fell originally Billy. Who was it?

 

Are they still married?

You not get invited round these days.

 

Beacon Lough Road Billy? Even better

 

So much for xmas music.