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NCFC End of Term Report

Discussion in 'Norwich City' started by JediCanary, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. JediCanary

    JediCanary Well-Known Member

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    With only a handful of games to go before the end of the season, the Evening News has done an end of term report for the Norwich City squad for the 2016/17 season and graded the players from A downwards.

    time-for-end-of-term-report-for-norwich-city-s-class-of-2016-17-1-4981031

    If you were to write an end-of-term school report for any of the players how would you grade them and what would your comments be on them?
     
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  2. JM Fan

    JM Fan Well-Known Member

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    I'll give it some thought!!! <yikes>
     
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  3. oldcanariesfan

    oldcanariesfan Well-Known Member

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    Pity they never graded the Board of Governors !!!!
     
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  4. JM Fan

    JM Fan Well-Known Member

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    OK Jedi - here goes -
    *John Ruddy: B-. I’ve seen him play better and needs to come for crosses more often and so ease the pressure on his defence which regularly offers him no protection.
    *Michael McGovern: C. I think our previous head signed him on the strength of one excellent piece of work. Has failed to submit ANY work to the same standard and has often let his classmates down.
    *Steven Whittaker: C-. Should never have been accepted to stay at school for an extra year.
    *Mitchell Dijks: B. Some promising efforts, but needs to control his impetuous streak, which can result in him being banned from class for a few days. Hope he’ll stay on to complete another year at least.
    *Russell Martin: B-. Kept his role as prefect despite others perhaps being more suited to the role. Occasional errors have cost goals and maybe time to take on a ‘counselling’ role for younger pupils.
    *Seb Bassong: C-.
    Very poor year and hopefully will be leaving at the end of this term.
    *Timm Klose: B-. If he could eradicate his silly errors, could be a valuable asset to the class.
    *Ryan Bennett: C. Promised much, but seems to have regressed this year.
    *Ivo Pinto: B+. One of the few star pupils and enjoys helping other pupils playing in more advanced positions.
    *Michael Turner: C-. Has only occasionally helped the younger pupils and some of them have outshone him. Time he left school I feel.
    *Jonny Howson: A-. Deserves to be prefect next year and take on a leadership role. Better playing in a more advanced position.
    *Graham Dorrans: B-. Some of his time in the ‘first aid’ room was the result of a needless challenge at the Madejski
    , when an opposition player wilfully kicked him. I’d like to give him until Xmas to see if he can deliver good work regularly.
    *Steven Naismith: C. Needs to deliver good/excellent work regularly if he’s to keep the same level of pocket money.
    *Wes Hoolahan: B. Teacher’s pet when the previous head was in post and unable to play 3 games in 8 days due to his advancing years. When he does eventually leave school, we need to arrange a fitting farewell.
    *Yanic Wildschut: C+. New boy in the class and hasn’t really settled in. I expect him to start delivering good work very early next academic year.
    *Alex Tettey: B. Another player who has an impetuous streak which he needs to curb. Young Thompson could provide serious competition for his place in class next year.
    *James Maddison: B. I’ve witnessed his efforts first hand when playing with the younger pupils and he is a handful for most defenders. Nearly always excellent at ‘dead ball’ situations and perhaps some other pupils could benefit from learning his technique from him.
    *Alex Pritchard: B+. Due to another couple of pupils being the previous head’s ‘pet pupils’, hasn’t played as often as he’d have liked. Most days, he’s the best pupil in the class.
    *Youssouf Mulumbu: C-. Arrived with much promise from his previous school, but due to the amount of time he has spent in the sick room and his ineffectual displays on the rare occasions when he has played, I think he’ll be asked to leave school at the end of term.
    *Jacob Murphy: B+. Has had a very good year and perhaps should not have played quite so often, but taken more rest time between classes.
    *Josh Murphy: B. Given more opportunity, I think this pupil has much to offer his classmates
    *Kyle Lafferty: C-. I always feel slightly nervous when the head has asked him to play, as he is another pupil who can be hot-headed and I feel he needs to be looking for a new school.
    *Matt Jarvis: C-. Has spent too much time in first aid and even when he’s been asked to play with the younger pupils, has failed to impress. Sorry, but he needs to leave school at the end of term
    *Nelson Oliveira: B+. Shows lots of promise and harshly banned for 3 days when he needlessly retaliated when clearly fouled by an opponent (This reckless act cost us our deserved play-off place <laugh>). Missed a few days when off sick with a foot injury, but expect him to be an inspirational pupil next term.
    *Cameron Jerome: B. Works extremely hard and if he could just have more composure when confronted with a scoring opportunity could earn himself a higher grade.

    <applause>
     
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    Last edited: Apr 19, 2017
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  5. goldeneadie

    goldeneadie Well-Known Member

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    I like your report JM, but you have been extremely generous to some of the lesser students. I believe masters Lafferty, Turner and Bassong should receive a fail grade of "F".
     
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  6. JM Fan

    JM Fan Well-Known Member

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    Fair comment GE!!! <laugh>
     
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  7. Carbrooke Canary

    Carbrooke Canary Active Member

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    What I always got on my report..."must try harder"
     
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  8. Walsh.i.am

    Walsh.i.am Well-Known Member
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    With a mere handful of exceptions, i.e Ja Murphy, Oliveira, Pinto, Howson and in recent weeks Pritchard, they all need to be kept in detention over the summer break - none more so than both keepers and all the defence (apart from IP).
     
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  9. Canary Rob

    Canary Rob Well-Known Member

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    It's interesting that we have quite a few players with "reckless" (or similar) by their names. They're trying too hard and not reining it in properly, whereas others as you say need to put a hell of a lot more effort in being too cautious. It's as if the right messages are going to the wrong players
     
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  10. General Melchett

    General Melchett Well-Known Member

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    I agree with a number of the posters above that the fuller extent of the grading spectrum should have been used.

    *John Ruddy: E. A shadow of the keeper that was called up for England, never got over that injury and hopefully will find a new school to return him to his former straight A performance level.
    *Michael McGovern: E. I think our previous head signed him on the strength of one excellent piece of work. Has failed to submit ANY work to the same standard and has often let his classmates down. Unlikely to find new school with Auntie Delia offering generous free lunch
    *Steven Whittaker: D. Should never have been accepted to stay at school for an extra year. Was not as bad as expected but still not good. AN amiable pupil happy to remain in the background until called upon
    *Mitchell Dijks: B-. Some promising efforts, but needs to control his impetuous streak, which can result in him being banned from class for a few days. Hope he’ll stay on to complete another year at least.
    *Russell Martin: D. Kept his role as prefect despite others perhaps being more suited to the role. Like other chums, messers, Klose, Bennett and Bassong, sits at the back of class but lacks focus, resulting in silly errors Must try harder!
    *Seb Bassong: F. Very poor year after joining and enjoying an A* year, he has lost focus, a pattern seen in his previous schools, hopefully a move at the end of this term can give him a similar lift
    *Timm Klose: C-. A boy of such potential, needs seperating from the clique of Martin, Bennett and Bassong, then we may see him fullfil that early promise
    *Ryan Bennett: E. Promised much, but seems to have regressed this year.
    *Ivo Pinto: B+. One of the few star pupils and enjoys helping other pupils playing in more advanced positions. A joy to teach with his enthusiasm for learning
    *Michael Turner: U. This lad has played truant all season forgot he was registered here
    *Jonny Howson: A-. Deserves to be prefect next year assuming no better candidate arrives. The classroom functions much better when he is there
    *Graham Dorrans: D. A plodder who has been off sick much of the year, rarely threatens great things but with less time seeing nursey he could be a steady B student
    *Steven Naismith: D. Needs to deliver good/excellent work regularly if he’s to keep the same level of pocket money.
    *Wes Hoolahan: B-. Teacher’s pet when the previous head was in post and unable to play 3 games in 8 days due to his advancing years. When he does eventually leave school, we need to arrange a fitting farewell.
    *Yanic Wildschut: D. New boy in the class, from his Wigan school reports was running at B+ he has disappointed and hasn’t really settled in. I expect him to start delivering good work very early next academic year.
    *Alex Tettey: D. Another player who has an impetuous streak which he needs to curb. He appears to hold the whole class back as he struggles to make forward progress
    *James Maddison: B. One of the kids coming up from Junior school, nothing but great reports and excelled when on a recent visit
    *Alex Pritchard: B+. Due to another couple of pupils being the previous head’s ‘pet pupils’, hasn’t played as often as he’d have liked. Most days, he’s the best pupil in the class.
    *Youssouf Mulumbu: F. Offers very little in class on his rare occasions away from Nursey
    *Jacob Murphy: B+. Has had a very good year and perhaps should not have played quite so often, but taken more rest time between classes.
    *Josh Murphy: C. has been somewhat overshadowed by his brother, but solid work for a first year I think this pupil has much to offer his classmates
    *Kyle Lafferty: U Has for too long had Auntie Delia offering overly generous free lunch inspite of all his teachers leaving him festooned in detention
    *Matt Jarvis: U. Has had Nursey positively overworked, failed to hand in any coursework or attend any exams, he needs to leave school at the end of term
    *Nelson Oliveira: B+. Shows lots of promise, a creative pupil with precise eye who was banned for 3 days when he needlessly retaliated when clearly fouled by an opponent (This reckless act cost us our deserved play-off place
    please log in to view this image
    ). Missed a few days when off sick with a foot injury, but expect him to be an inspirational pupil next term.
    *Cameron Jerome: B-. Works extremely hard but is ultimately a limited pupil. Some more gifted pupils are capable of A* performance but lack application, others like CJ will never have those gifts, but through hard graft he keeps his grades up, a good example to the rest of class.

    Following the recent ofstead inspection the teaching staff were found to require improvement. This has almost definitely had a negative effect on grades this year. With Moxey from the board of governers having been moved on and head teacher Neil also relieved of duties, it is hoped that Mr Webbber can bring in the fresh teaching talent required to make the school good or excellent again.

    Bah!
     
    #10

  11. Walsh.i.am

    Walsh.i.am Well-Known Member
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    That is sheer class (no pun intended!) General <applause>
     
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  12. JM Fan

    JM Fan Well-Known Member

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    Yes General - I think you should go to the 'top of the class' for your comments and updates!!! :emoticon-0137-clapp
     
    #12
  13. chinacanary

    chinacanary Well-Known Member

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    Yes General. Clearly you have some educational background. I fear Ian Clarke was afraid of retaliation from the parents (Delia et al) if he had given anything below a C-.
     
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  14. Forgot_My_Lines

    Forgot_My_Lines Well-Known Member

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    This is the kind of thing I will do, but a lot of effort involved on the whole squad!

    Fair play JM, good commitment.
     
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  15. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Post of the century Mon General
     
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  16. JM Fan

    JM Fan Well-Known Member

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    Excuse me, SOME of it was 'plagiarism' - my lawyers will be in touch!?. <laugh>
     
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  17. Walsh.i.am

    Walsh.i.am Well-Known Member
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    So, with the Barry Butler trophy due to be presented before kick off tomorrow, who do we think will get it? Largely academic after such a poor season (given the early expectations) with no one candidate standing out particularly.
    I'm guessing in 3rd Ivo Pinto
    in second Wes Hoolahan
    and first (again) Jonny Howson.
    Just a hunch, though - does anyone else have any inspired guesses?

    They can't / won't / wouldn't present it to Ruddy, as a parting shot, surely? :emoticon-0112-wonde
     
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  18. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    I concur
     
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  19. CitySlicker2010

    CitySlicker2010 Well-Known Member

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    If Alan Irvine wanted the job as manager I would certainly back him with his recent record. If I have got it correct P10 W5 D3 L2. Other managers who have been touted but I don't think they would be better than Alan Irvine
     
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  20. carrowcanario

    carrowcanario Well-Known Member

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    We're not looking for a manger we're in the market for a head coach.
     
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