My Local Bowling Club

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DevAdvocate

DevAdvocate

Gigging bassist
Jan 21, 2010
63,752
13,061
113
Up my own arse
My local Bowling club are being very unreasonable.

I used to have membership about 2 years ago but I had to leave when it was discovered that I had been using "non regulation weight" Bowls. It was pretty embarassing but I put it behind me and after all this time I decided I wanted to take the game up again so I reapplied for membership.

They said they would admit me to the club, but to ensure there was no repeat of my heavy Bowls event they asked that I sign an agreement saying that any trophies I won during that period should be handed back.

Needless to say I flatly refused to hand back my hard earned cups or even discuss the matter. I may have used overweight Bowls admittedly, but I gained no real advantage and I still had to physically win my matches so I don't see why I should surrender my wins.

I think they may have a vendetta against me so to that end I have demanded that:

1: no one at the club ever mentions my Bowls incident
2: that I should be allowed to retain my cups
3: that I should get a cut of the Bar receipts because lots of my pals come to the club just to watch me play

Do you think I am being unreasonable?
 
What would be worse is if somebody else came along and wanted to take your membership but advocate the same demands.
 
DevAdvocate said:
Stop kicking me while i'm down.
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Okay you can play bowls tomorrow but you need to get real if you want us to let you in again. And no more bullying families of bowling club members. Wee Sally hisnae stopped greetin since you stole her dummy
 
Tioga River said:
Okay you can play bowls tomorrow but you need to get real if you want us to let you in again. And no more bullying families of bowling club members. Wee Sally hisnae stopped greetin since you stole her dummy
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Well I will go to the bowling club but i'll be giving a speech from my hastily erected soapbox in the middle of the green, i'll be telling a few home truths about the people who want to see me punished. I'll tell them the ungrateful dastards.
 
DevAdvocate said:
Well I will go to the bowling club but i'll be giving a speech from my hastily erected soapbox in the middle of the green, i'll be telling a few home truths about the people who want to see me punished. I'll tell them the ungrateful dastards.
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Yes that's right, throw accusations around at everyone you don't like and curry flavour with your mates, that way you can distract people from the real issue... that you are a cheating bastard who has put the integrity of the bowling club at stake with your misdemeanours.

Anyway if we don't take your trophies away the International Bowling Federation could ban other innocent bowling players from future participation.
 
Tioga River said:
Yes that's right, throw accusations around at everyone you don't like and curry flavour with your mates, that way you can distract people from the real issue... that you are a cheating bastard who has put the integrity of the bowling club at stake with your misdemeanours.

Anyway if we don't take your trophies away the International Bowling Federation could ban other innocent bowling players from future participation.
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Some good news, I've spoken to the two top men and they are both "Travelling men", they are going to suspend the allegations against me until the season is over and hopefully by that time everyone will have forgotten I used to be a cheat.

Mind you, i'll be slagging those two off in my speech too.
 
DevAdvocate said:
Some good news, I've spoken to the two top men and they are both "Travelling men", they are going to suspend the allegations against me until the season is over and hopefully by that time everyone will have forgotten I used to be a cheat.

Mind you, i'll be slagging those two off in my speech too.
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You're a contemptible individual but you bring along a lot of mates, even if most of them are hooligans, and I don't think your plan will work. Even if it does we will never let you forget that your trophies are discredited and we will laugh at you ever time you try to boast about them
 
Tioga River said:
You're a contemptible individual but you bring along a lot of mates, even if most of them are hooligans, and I don't think your plan will work. Even if it does we will never let you forget that your trophies are discredited and we will laugh at you ever time you try to boast about them
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I'll simply blame my overweight bowls, I did'nt know they were iffy, somebody else told me they were ok.
 
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