My first match report

I decided, since I got nowt better to do, to review the match tonight on my blog. Sorry about the length and if there's any grammar mistakes or what have ya, it is half 3 in the morning. Enjoy.

"Birmingham City 0 Newcastle United 2

Forget about Andy Carroll and his £35m move to the “ European capital of culture” and forget about Fernando Torres, who Chelsea paid £50m for someone who couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat (once upon a time, they could have had Ameobi for free) Tonight, at the combined cost of just £1m (or less) Newcastle’s ‘weakened’ strike force proved lethal as the toon came away from St Andrews soggy, cold but with three well deserved points.

Newcastle got off to the best possible start with Jose “The Bull” Enrique exploding into life, attacking down the left. With the ball coming to the feet of Gutierrez, the Argentine whipped in an inch perfect ball to the feet of Lovenkrands who expertly got in front of the defender and finished in the bottom corner. As yesterday was Valentine’s day, it was only fitting that “McLoven” grabbed the toons first goal after 90 seconds.

Birmingham tried to retaliate in the scarily tall Zigic (he makes Peter Crouch look like a hobbit) and former geordie number 9, Oba Martins… the “21 or 28, Oba-femi Martins” chant a long distant memory. Oba stated he wouldn’t celebrate if he scored tonight in respect of the black and whites but in all honesty, he didn’t even get a sniff as he failed to beat the offside trap on more than one occasion… A sight all too familiar to the geordies behind the goal he was attacking and thousands watching through illegal networks via the internet. (Guilty) Another ex magpie Lee Bowyer watched from the subs bench as Johnson and Zigic put the pressure on Steve Harper with the latter forcing the best English ‘keeper never to feature in that joke they call the national squad, into a decent save to his left.

Another old boy of the toon, Steven Carr, may be quite relieved that the persistence of Enrique and Gutierrez died down after a blistering start, Enrique unusually giving the ball away cheaply from time to time as a result of over-confident defending… perhaps trying to put Liverpool off bidding for him in the summer? As in the game against Blackburn, it seemed that the referee was on Barton watch, and not unlike the game at Ewood park, Barton picking up a undeserved yellow card for going in for a 50/50 header and coming out of it better off. Harsh to say the least.

Newcastle’s only other real chance of the first half fell to an over-stretching Leon Best header that went well wide with an annoyed Lovenkrands right behind him positioning for a volley. But Best was to get his moment. 5 minutes into the second half, a mazy Gutierrez run saw the superhero dart past the defence of the brummies and deliver a world class ball towards the back post where Best showed strength, determination and a real air of confidence to power over the struggling Johnston and head past Ben Foster for Newcastle’s second of the game. That’s 5 in 7 for the former Coventry striker, the same amount of goals Wayne Rooney has scored all season.

Gutierrez continued to threat the Birmingham back line with brilliant runs although they came to nothing in the end. As expected however, the home side threatened a comeback with subs Jerome and ex-mackem Kevin Philips but not even causing Stevie Harper and the back line to break into a sweat. The defence tonight much stronger and much more disciplined than the one that turned up for the first 45 minutes against Arsenal ten days ago.

Before the final whistle, there was still time for worry for Newcastle as Lovenkrands seemed to go over his ankle and needing replaced by the self proclaimed “Power Ranger” and for Leon Best to pick up his weekly dose of dead leg syndrome… this time a well placed knee from the frustrated Rigdewell instead of the usual sight of Stevie Harper’s version of the People’s Elbow, which didn’t have such a comical viewing but provided a reason to give run outs to messers Danny Guthrie (he looks younger every time I see him) and Sol Campbell (who looks to have lost at least a stone. Good on ya, son) who ran down the additional five minutes of injury time to record another clean sheet and three points, reaching 35 so far in the season.

That sits us nicely in 9th position, only 2 points off the unwashed in 7th, 4 points off the red scum of merseyside and most importantly 8 points away from relegation (it’s an odd season) with Bolton, Everton and Wolves to visit St James Park not forgetting an away trip to Stoke somewhere in the middle of that lot.

The future is looking bright again, for the moment."