Mrs Doubtfire rallies the troops

In a bid to salvage a season that promised so much; yet has delivered very little, Steve Bruce has issued a rallying cry for his team to achieve one target.

Finish above Newcastle United.

“There is only one thing to play for. One. It’s very simple. We have to finish above that club up the road and we have to get into the top 10. One thing only. One. Top 10 and above them.” Bruce declared.

After finally curtailing his usual end of season losing streak with a win against Bolton Bruce has now been able to redefine what a successful season can encapsulate.

“It’s only a massive goal difference that separates us from them” he stated without a hint of irony or shame, “and to finish in the top 10 for the first time in a decade shows that I’m managing this team correctly. We just have to finish above them and we can then call this season a success.”

When asked about his plans for next season and ambitions Bruce was very forthright. “We’ve got to finish above them and beat them resoundingly so I can play my song. They’ll hate it when I can finally do that. It’s not just about me though. It’s for the fans. They are loyal and the club has to show them that we care.” He was asked to demonstrate how the club cares.

“We’ve got some supporters sleeping outside the ground in a tent and we’ve not had the police move them on. I think that shows our intent to care and also Mr Quinn is hoping they’ll come into the ground and watch the match instead of going to a pub. Loyalty is a two way street.”

He deflected any criticism of failure for attaining the stated goal of a top 9 finish this season with, “Will Newcastle finish in the top 10? If they finish 10th then we need to be 9th. If they finish 11th, we need to be 10th. That’s all that matters now. It’s a long season and we’ve spent a lot of money over the last few years to always finish above Newcastle.”

Asked if this viewpoint of success was rather limited he refuted “Not at all. It’s a good policy. It’s our only policy.”

 

Any one but Steve Bruce and I'd suspect you'd fabricated this OT. Very good.

 

That's two things Mrs D

 

dude looks like a lady?

 

If Bruce looks like a lady then I wouldn't touch him with a stolen dick.

 

he's the hottest bit of totty that side of the Wear.

 

come on stevie play them a song

 

He is just embaressing himself.

He'd really consider finishing just above us after been humiliated in BOTH derby's a success?

I'd rather beat them 5-1 and finish just below them, then get hammered 5-1 at the stadium of ****e and finish just above them.

What a complete fat ****er. Can't believe how he celebrated after that equalizer at the SoS

 

Fabricated is a very strong word... I may have been colourful in my interpretation of an actual statement

 

Rep!

I bet it was only a small deviation from the actual actual quote

 

I must admit, his proper statement of finishing above us has really set himself up for more embaressment if he doesn't manage it.
Fine set your team targets but keep them in private, had he just said we are still with in reach of the top 10 and that is our target then fine I'd have thought nothing more of it.

I really hope Wolves and West Ham really turn them over now.

 

Wolves and West ham will be desperately fighting for survival. The mackems are limping over the finish line. I know who my money's on

 

Depends mate. I agree about Wolves, but i think West Ham will already be relegated by the time the Mackems play them, so they'll be crushed.

I could really see the Mackems scraping a draw vs Wolves at home and winning vs WHU.

I'mn hoping they get destroyed tho