Me, Myself and Igor - The autobiography

Flappy Flanagan (JK) · Oct 9, 2014

Autobiographies of famous sporting figures have hit the headlines this week, with revelations from Kevin Pietersen and Roy Keane dominating the news.

Accusations of bullying, scandals and Robbie Savage's voicemail have sent the Internet into meltdown.

Because of the commotion caused by the cricketer and bearded Irishman, another autobiography, released by another sporting legend, has gone under the radar.

Igor Biscan's Me, Myself and Igor was (definitely not) brought out on Monday and is(n't) available in all good books shops.

We have exclusive excerpts of the book, which definitely doesn't exist.

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Igor on winning the Champions League:

âPeople called it the road to Istanbul, but the games were mainly played in stadiums.

âI will never forget the defining moment. A brilliant midfielder in his prime, dropping the shoulder and rewriting the script. Obviously others contributed, but it was my run in La Coruna that made us believe. The pitch just opened up in front of me, so I ran as fast as I could. The rest is a blur, but I do know we scored. Our name was on the trophy from that point.

âThe final was a magnificent occasion although my request to take a penalty fell on deaf ears. The win was soured slightly afterwards by the traffic we ran into on the trip home. The bus took about five hours to drop me off from the airport.

"The company never responded to my letter of complaint.â

Igor on managers:

âThe language barrier was a problem at times, but I eventually knew what Phil Thompson was asking me to do.

âGerard Houllier signed me in December 2000. He told me I could be the next Dietmar Hamann, so I got sent off twice within my first four months. I later found out Hamann had only been sent off once. Igor had failed. Igor moved to centre back.

âGerard was nice to me,. He told me he preferred players who tried things. I once tried to see what would happen if I gave the ball to an unmarked opponent six yards from goal. Gerard wasn't nice to me anymore.

âRafa Benitez was brilliant, though. The fans loved me in midfield and he was very much into his tactics. He once asked me to protect the back four, but the referee saw the baseball bat down my shorts.â

Igor on his goal at home to Bolton:

âIt was incredible. The ball came to me 30 yards out and I just put my head through it, even though Djimi Traore's cross was behind me a little.

âIt was the goal which undoubtedly changed the game.â

Igor on his goal at Fulham:

âIt was incredible. The ball came to me 50 yards out and I just put my foot through it, even though Stephen Warnock's cross was behind me a little.

âIt was the goal which undoubtedly changed the game.â

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Igor on midfield hard men:

âI played against the greats. Jody Morris at Millwall, Doriva at Middlesbrough, Matt Holland at Charlton. All played off the park.

âThe most fearsome opponent? Not Patrick Vieira or Roy Keane, that's for sure, even if the Irishman once threatened to write nasty things about me in his autobiography.

âI don't believe in 'hard men' anyway. This is football, not wrestling. I let my football do the talking. Although I also do the talking at sportsman's dinners in Croatia for an affordable fee.â

Igor on life in Zagreb:

âI was a superstar when I was there. Police would stop traffic to allow me to drive through the city safely. I didn't even know what a red light meant until I moved to Liverpool.

âThere were so many great players who played at Dinamo. Robert Kovac, Robert Prosinecki, Dario Simic.

âIt is an honour to say I was the only one to win the European Cup. Well, apart from Prosinecki and Simic, who also won it. But it was still an honour.â

Igor on leaving Liverpool:

âPeople always asked me how I managed to leave Liverpool. They ask if it was hard.

âRyanair had a sale on flights to Athens, so not really.â

Igor on life after football:

âA lot of people ask what happened to me. Match of the Day 2 have never sent Martin Keown around to my house for an awkward interview, so no one has seen me in years.

âThe truth is, there's a bit of Igor everywhere. He is in the rivers, he is in the trees, he is in the wind. He is here, in your heart.

âBut he's also on television as a judge on Croatia's Got Talent following his 2013 runner-up spot on Croatian Masterchef.

âMaybe I need to sign up to Twitter, but I don't even know how to create my own Facebook.â

Igor on the Liverpool fans:

âThey will always have a special place in my heart. I was never the best player, and I know I was a cult hero, but I was still taken in by them â especially in the run-up to the Champions League final.

âHearing them chant my name is something I will never forget,

âI wept when I saw the banner which exclaimed SUPERCROATIGORBISCANUSEDTOBEATROCIOUS.

âI hate Mary Poppins.â
Click to expand...

The great Igor Biscan.

luvgonzo · Oct 9, 2014

Read this yesterday. VERY GOOD.

moreinjuredthanowen · Oct 9, 2014

Where ever you pulled it out of it's the kind of quality stuff that boring international breaks generate

Me, Myself and Igor - The autobiography

Flappy Flanagan (JK) Well-Known Member

luvgonzo Pisshead

moreinjuredthanowen Mr Brightside

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Me, Myself and Igor - The autobiography

Flappy Flanagan (JK) Well-Known Member

luvgonzo Pisshead

moreinjuredthanowen Mr Brightside

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