Lifted from The Daily Mash website today - made me PMSL. Send it over the to Gooners? ROBERTO Mancini will purchase every member of Arsenal's squad, with the obvious exception of Eboue, just to see the look on Arsene Wenger's face. Low boredom threshold After his signing of Clichy and the bid for Nasri enraged the self-proclaimed 'Professor Of Third Place', Mancini will continue buying the rest of their former teammates every couple of days until Wenger performs an as-yet-unnamed forfeit. Mancini said: "By the time we get to Bendtner, it's going to be obvious we're just taking the piss, but to be honest that's just going to make it even better when we follow it up with a £21m bid for Almunia. "It's going to be difficult to keep a straight face when Almunia holds up a City shirt up, especially as he will drop it several times - but it'll be totally worth it." Mancini has also asked City's billionaire owners to buy Arsenal's Emirates Stadium and rename it the 'Arsene Stinks Of Piss Stadium' as the cherry on the top of his elaborate prank. Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: "To draw a Panini football sticker analogy, Wenger is the kid who carefully buys a packet every now and then and makes the most of the players inside whereas Mancini is the flash kid whose dad just buys him a whole box of them to keep him quiet. "The current disagreement between them is the equivalent of Mancini getting Wenger in a headlock behind the PE block and demanding he hand over the few cards still in his 'need' pile." Despite Mancini's prank injecting hundreds of millions of pounds into Arsenal to rebuild the squad, the money will be useless as the Italian plans to follow Wenger to every transfer negotiation and offer an extra 50p on top of whatever Wenger bids. GKRK.
Thats hilarious. Can you do one in a seperate article on the transfer dealings of Slur Alcie Fergiscum.
The Mash can be brilliant at times. They have a go at us aswell. http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport...xperiment-with-0110-formation-201107074046/
Another one having a go at us, but you have to laugh. Dalglish spends £8m at vending machine LIVERPOOL manager Kenny Dalglish has defended his decision to spend £8m on a bag of crisps and a can of Irn Bru. Takes £10m notesHe fought off bids from rival managers who were willing to pay up to £1.30 for the snacks and sees the purchase as a sign of Liverpool's renewed ambition. He continued to stuff cheques into the coin slot of the vending machine until an engineer was called. Dalglish said: "You've got to understand that there's always a premium for home-grown soft drinks like Irn Bru as they instinctively understand the British way of having lunch. And it's a full sugar can so it's got bags of energy. "Combined with the crisps - limited edition Marmite flavour so we really had to loosen the purse strings - it's going to go brilliantly with this corned beef roll that I picked up for £20m. "It's Fray Bentos corned beef so I'm expecting a bit of that South American flair with my dinner today. It's the kind of meal that tells the Chelseas and the Uniteds that we mean exceptionally expensive business." Assistant Steve Clarke has angrily asked why nobody was monitoring Dalglish while the former Chelsea man was away in Italy being shown around the remains of Aquilani. Clarke said: "I thought we had learned from January when he was allowed out for an hour to see what was in the John Lewis sale and he came back with a sofa shaped like Andy Carroll that we've no room for?"
Heres a few. Jordan is in the Man United players lounge and she asked the Man United players to sign her tits.They agree.Then she asks them to sign her bum.They refused,they say they can't do that....Alex Ferguson signs all the bums. Psmela Anderson is in the Man United players lounge and she asks the Man United players to sign her bum which they do,then she asks Alex Ferguson to sign her shaved vagina,he says he can't because the last bald c..t he signed cost him £28 million.
