When I was a teenager, a lot of folk from my school came from Govan. There was an urban legend they were all aware of (not as a legend - the guy had a name and all that) of a guy being gang raped in Elder Park aff junkies. What I've often wondered is: Does everyone have a similar local urban legend or was this guy actually bum-blasted by a rabid pack of Linthouse spoonburners?
not long ago there was a group of darkies ass raping guys in Glasgow, west end I think. No-one was ever caught for it
I think I remember that - was one of the first "pumpees" done out the the back of that church on Great Western Road? I didn't realise they were all meant to be black, though
Couple of lads I know of got bummed about 5/6 years ago. Had their drinks spiked and their rings battered. They're knobheads though, so probably had it coming.
There's plenty of these type of stories. There's the Al-Qaeda shopping centre Christmas bombplot, some Asian fella drops his wallet, some lassie says "here's your wallet, you dropped it" and the Asian guy says "Don't come in here on the 20th December There's the spunk in the curry one, where some poor lassie eats a curry, and is violently sick, she has her stomach pumped only to find 15 different types of spunk <kinky> Then the one that did the rounds up here a while ago, someone is getting married at Loch Lomond, the bride gets a call from the hotel, "someone wants to use the hotel on the dates that you are getting married and have offered you £30k to postpone your wedding", she says no, so the offer goes up and up and up until it reaches £100k, the bride agrees to cancel her wedding.... And then it turns out it was Posh and Becks who were the people wanting to use the hotel I remember my wife came home from her work and told me this one years ago, the daft **** feel for it (to my shame, so did I at first )
Whenever a new swimming pool opened, there was the wee girl/razor blade/chewing gum story. It helped if the pool had a flume
My favourite one is the woman who died after pleasuring herself with a lobster. http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lobster.asp
there was this guy down my way who apparently was on the run cos the uvf chased him out of ireland for stealin land, and he lived in a cave* and went about at night bumin folk and he was called the republican rapist * the cave is known as wallace's cave where wallace hid from the english, but thats made up i think
Or the one where people were pricking people with needles in nightclubs and sticking stickers on their victim with the message "Congratulations - you now have AIDS!"
I remember the story about killer clowns from years ago. These ****s with clown masks would drive about in a blue transit van, bundle a kid inside, cut their cheeks and tell them a funny joke. The kid would laugh and split their cheeks from mouth the ear. Thinking about it now it would be a traumatic experience and no joke in the world would make me laugh. Most likely a good hard kick in the stones would have burst your face open.
One at our school was a girl who pleasured herself with a glass test tube and while she was in the throes of an orgasm clamped down on it and shattered glass inside her twat. Another was a bloke who pissed up a girl instead of dumping his load and she died from internal poisoning. There was also one going around about another bird who used a whole fish to pleasure herself and its fins opened up preventing it coming out and it had to be cut out in hospital. My favorite is the rumour that ER was the 5th Beatle and only hates them with a passion because they left him by the kerb in Hamburg then went on to international fame and fortune.
There was one I heard and was tempted to believe about ten years ago - then, I heard the exact same story from someone else a few weeks later with a different location and realised it had to be bunkum. I think it appeared online as well. A woman goes to the docs with an itchy fanny. Doctor checks fanny - it's lowping. Red and inflamed. Doctor looks closer and red swellings are pimple-y. Squeezes one and a sort of maggot comes out of it. The doctor asks the woman to sit down and quizzes her about her sexual history - telling her that this condition can only occur after someone has indulged in a bit of necrophilia. The woman replies that she has only had one sexual partner for the last 20 years and that was her husband. Said husband worked in a mortuary <savile>
I was far too talented to join the first manufactured boy pop band in history. Boyzone actually took the boyband status to a new level.
