Two IRISHMEN were looking at a mail order catalogue and admiring the models. One said to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?' The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.' The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.' Three weeks later, the youngest Irishman asks his pal, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered From the catalogue?' The secondIrishman replies...... SCROLL DOWN ... YOU'LL LOVE IT! 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. She sent all her clothes yesterday!
D.E.A. officer approaches a farmer and says "D.E.A. here to inspect your property for illegally grown drugs". The farmer replies, go ahead mate, but for your own safety don't go into that paddock nearest the house. The agent produces his badge and says "see this it says D.E.A. which gives me permission to go anywhere, anytime I want! The farmer apologises and returns to painting his house. about 10 minutes later the farmer hears this spine chilling scream from the paddock near the house and notices the D.E.A. agent running with the farmers prized Bull chasing him and making ground on him with every step. The farmer thinks this man is going to get severely gored by this bull unless I do something. The farmer immediately drops everything and races to the fence and shouts "YOUR BADGE, YOUR BADGE, SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE"
There was the Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman steeple jacks, sitting on top if a high chimney eating their sandwiches. The Englishman said if I get Tuna sandwiches again tomorrow I am going to throw myself off and end it all. The Scotsman said if I get Ham sandwiches again tomorrow I am going to throw myself off and end it all. The Irishmen said if I get Cheese sandwiches again tomorrow I am going to throw myself off and end it all. Next day comes, sure enough they all got the same sandwiches, so one by one they jump off. The wives decided to have funerals from them all together, and the Englishmans wife said to the other 2 wives after the funeral, if only he had said he was tired of Tuna sandwiches, I could have given him something different. The Scotsmans wife said the same. The Irishman wife said she couldn't understand it at all, as he always made his own sandwiches.
You asked for this now. The Irish Fencing team have been stripped of there Gold medal by the A.D.A.,, Anti-Doping Agency. They all tested positive from Creosote. bum bum
