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Mackem Jokes

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013.

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  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Know any?

    What do you call a Mackem with a nice house?





    A resident of Tyneside.
     
    #1
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  2. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

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    Albert, Where did you get this idea I wonder? :D
     
    #2
    Brian Storm, Oct 26, 2013
  3. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    From a thread I did a year ago fella.
    Thanks for you interest though.
     
    #3
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  4. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    What happens when a SAFC fan gets Alzheimer's?
    His IQ goes up.
     
    #4
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  5. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Why do Mackem lasses wear green lipstick?

    Red means stop
     
    #5
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  6. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    A Mackem thinks relative humidity is the sweat on his nuts when he's giving his sister one
     
    #6
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  7. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #7
    Albert's Chip Shop, Oct 26, 2013
  8. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Why does a mackem lass wear knickers?

    To keep her ankles warm
     
    #8
    Warmir Pouchov, Oct 26, 2013
  9. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    How many Sunderland fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None - they're quite happy living in the shadows
     
    #9
    Warmir Pouchov, Oct 26, 2013
  10. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    What's the difference between a Mackem and a coconut?

    One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit
     
    #10
    Warmir Pouchov, Oct 26, 2013

  11. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    How can a mackem mother tell if her daughters been having sex?

    She can taste it on her sons penis
     
    #11
    Warmir Pouchov, Oct 26, 2013
  12. leez

    leez Well-Known Member

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    :wink: got this off me nephew he made it up







    even me chip fork has more more points than sunderland ..made me laugh :emoticon-0117-talki
     

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    #12
    leez, Oct 26, 2013
  13. Stuart Blanc

    Stuart Blanc Member

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    What dos a mackem lass use for protection?

    A bus shelter
     
    #13
    Stuart Blanc, Oct 26, 2013
  14. Wisey's Hair

    Wisey's Hair Well-Known Member

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    What happens if you feed a mackem viagra? He gets a bit taller.
     
    #14
    Wisey's Hair, Oct 26, 2013
  15. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Or she gets a massive erection...



    But leave off them guys, they might have the fewest number of points, but they've got the most chromosomes...
     
    #15
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Oct 26, 2013
  16. Wisey's Hair

    Wisey's Hair Well-Known Member

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    How do you brainwash a mackem?

    Give them an enema
     
    #16
    Wisey's Hair, Oct 26, 2013
  17. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Albert reminds me of that unfunny DJ from the film Good morning Vietnam!!!
     
    #17
    MrRAWhite, Oct 26, 2013
  18. RobEllious

    RobEllious Well-Known Member

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    Was that meant to be funny?. Im confused, does this make you witty? You sunderland fans have much to teach us you witty fellows you :)
     
    #18
    RobEllious, Oct 26, 2013
  19. Wisey's Hair

    Wisey's Hair Well-Known Member

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    Whats the difference between a mackem lass and a kitkat?

    You only get 4 fingers in a kitkat.
     
    #19
    Wisey's Hair, Oct 26, 2013
  20. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    INTERVIEWER: So can you give me an example that demonstrates your ability to apply multi-tasking skills?
    MACKEM: Wey aye, ah ken shag me ma, me sista and me anty all at the same time like.
    INTERVIEWER: Really? How do you manage that?
    MACKEM: Wey they're all the sayem person!
     
    #20
    Obi Wan, Oct 26, 2013
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