London Critics' Circle Film Awards

Helena Bonham Carter Scoops Lifetime Achievement Award

Helena Bonham Carter said last night she hoped her Lifetime Achievement Award from the Critics' Circle was not a hint to stop acting.

Accepting the Dilys Powell Award for excellence in film at London's May Fair Hotel, the Oscar-winning actress joked that her recent string of accolades was like a disease.

Bonham Carter said: "It feels like a rash. It suddenly seems like I've got a contagion of diseases, I mean awards. But it's nice, it's a nice feeling.

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Diseased or not Ah Wid

 

Nah, no thanks. Probably got a front bottom like a wizard's sleeve I'd imagine.

 

Ah wid. Especially after seeing her as a sexy MILF librarian in that Rufus Wainwright video.

 

Maybe she could spend the prize money on some soap and toothpaste.

 

Shame you feel this way ER as she like old men too.

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did he bust his ****ing hand? poor sod.

 

Ah but I'm only 35 sonny.

 

Somethings very wrong if he has to resort to ****ing having a misses like that.

 

I had a wet dream about her when I was about 20.

She was down the park playing football with me and my mates with a boombox on a sunny day.

I held her down and pumped her rotten in front of everyone - she ****ing loved it.

Best. Dream. Ever

 

Maybe that's his fisting arm?

 

Quite possibly. She looks like a dirty sort who needs satisfaction and he's knocking on a bit ( like ER ). Maybe he has trouble getting his cock up for the task ( again like ER ).

 

There wasn't one.

 

Lifetime achievment for what? ****' sake most of her movies are utter ****, apart from Fight Club.

 

Although she was good in Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the WereRabbit

 

What part did she play?

 

The posh totty woman. The one Wallace fancies.

I was being tongue-in-cheek by the way.

 

I was thinking to myself there was a Bafta nomination for it.

 

She was a decent Miss Haversham

...and she was one sexy ape in Planet of the Apes.

She popped the twins out in a TV thing with Rik Mayall as well - that was a personal highlight.

 

Yes we all know about your tongue in cheek shirtlifter.

 

Well now I can see why she was given this worthless award, that's some body of work right there.