"Like a new signing for us"

Just when I thought we wouldn't hear these fabled words again, our manager has rolled them out, this time in connection with Papiss Cisse's forthcoming return:

Looks like we have our 'new' striker then. Thank Christ for that, I was getting worried for a second there. I'm just waiting for 'couldn't get him over the line' to be trotted out on next week to complete the set.

 

For ****s sake.

 

We won't sign anyone else that's for certain I think we are going to struggle all season

 

It just didn't seem like a proper window without that ol' line being rolled out!

 

Still got us pegged for 11th then ?

 

At best

 

Oh you tease.

You love to predict doom but actually think we'll do just fine. It's ok: you don't have to admit it.

 

Aww crap

 

After the Palace game:-

'Well we tried to get a couple of targets in, but we just couldn't get them over the line. The fans will be happy though since we brought in several quality players in this window to improve the squad'

 

You gotta love Alan.

Seriously though, if we don't sign someone then he'll need to be like a new signing. Maybe Riviere can help motivate him to find his best game coupled with having the likes of Cabella and SDJ to work with.

 

Er, no, I don't!

I don't know why he's got to do it. Obviously we have one, perhaps two, striker options for transfer with the obligatory derisory bid on the table. Obviously neither is likely to come off, but coming out with the like a new signing line is nothing short of embarrassing. We all know he's here, we haven't forgotten. Most of us haven't forgotten how utterly fcking sh1te Cisse has been for two solid seasons. Pardew has, it would seem. Where most fans are optimistic that Welbeck or whoever might still show up so that Papiss "Offside" Cisse is surplus to requirements, Alan decides we actually need a remind that if we don't buy anyone, we're stuck with him.

 

Bingo, we have a winner.

 

**** no... I'd probably prefer he wasn't like a new signing, because a lot of our new signings have been ****e so far

I didn't think Papiss could get worse

 

No premier league teams will be signing anyone before deadline day now. Or not openly anyway. I am not as bothered about a CB as I was. But we desperately need a striker. Cisse or not. If we the cisse of last season returns he may as well not bother.

 

It's as if I know what he is thinking......

 

Alan loves the club and its supporters which includes you. I think this playing hard to get is just sexual tension and you can't wait to pipe him. Spurs want Welbeck so I'd think that is the end of our hopes.

 

I'm desperately disappointed you have failed to include the word "Pardewed". Hang your head in shame. Your confirmation as a true Newcastle Numpty is now questionable.

 

Just cause you were Pardewed in his car

 

I honestly think your all in for a shock these signings are ****e mostly cabella Janmaat and de Jong are the only good ones and we've lost remy debuchy Cabaye and Ben arfa so I feel we will struggle.

You've all taken these signings the same way a starving etheopian would accept a cream cracker.

We're worse and Pardews still Pardew.

 

Maybe we can go back in for Lacazette now that Lyon are out of Eurpoa?!