It seems Rachel has been telling porkies. Her incoherent budget for Growth is the biggest lie but she's not unaccustomed to telling other lies, it seems.
You need to reword that one. All politicians lie – it comes with the job. That version of it just does not make anyone laugh. The only Growth we can find will be in Starmer’s nose – the son of a toolmaker:
Duct-taped banana artwork sells for $6.2m in NYC A few things here... WTF...!!!!!! You maybe very very rich, but come on, $6.2m for a banana and some duct tape, really, with what is going on all around us in this crazy world of ours... Plus, Sotherby's of New York say it was four times higher than the pre-sale estimate...!! Art for arts sake they say, i say absolute b*ll*cks to that...!!
Subject: DO NOT FIB ON HANDICAP A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could get on. "Sure," said the Pro, "What's your handicap?" Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. "Well, its 16," said the businessman, "But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?" "It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16." The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle; again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "It's wise to avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. “That's the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa. You're lucky I was here with you.” After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par 5. “Good to avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once more, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet. “I've saved your life again," said the caddy. The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly. "Why didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously. “I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy. "This is the 17th handicap hole. You don't get a shot here." And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie about your handicap!!
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Sod's Laws 1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. 5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. 6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. 7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!! 9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 10.Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. 11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 13.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug 14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about. 15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 16.The 50-50-90 LawWhenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong. 17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! 18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
If they had taped it to an unmade bed it would have been worth $30m. If they had taped it to a shark’s nose in a vat of seawater it would have been worth $62m. If they had put a condom on it who knows what it would have been worth...
I’m sure Pat Taafe was a fine rider but he looks like Lucy Gardner in that finish. Maybe riding styles have evolved.
Chani, you’re right that Taafe couldn’t ride a finish but he was a fantastic horseman who rode ‘long’ and rarely ended up on the floor. Watch the 1970 Grand National and the beautiful ride he gave Gay Trip. If he’d had the mount on Crisp, he’d have won by 20 lengths instead of pushing the horse to exhaustion as Pitman did.
Had to chuckle at one of Jimmy Kimmel's cracks on a recent show. He said that this Luigi killer fellow was noticed by someone at a McDonald's in Pennsylvania who thought he looked suspicious. Kimmel remarked "Well, doesn't everyone look suspicious when eating at Mcdonald's?"
There is plenty of political debate on General Chat e.g. here Let's not pollute this thread with it. Thanks.
