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Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.
Hazardous out there driving today.
A man walks into an Ann Summers shop, and asks for a see through negligee, size 54-52-58.
The assistant looks at him and says," Why the f*ck would you want to see through that?".
My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the loft.
So I tried that last night, but their constant crying & whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves.
Any other suggestions?
Has anyone on here lost a kid's trampoline ?
Cracking Black Friday deal from the Co-op.
When you can't let the cat go out because he might invade Poland.
I used to think Trampoline was an ointment the homeless rubbed on cuts and grazes
As I was pushing the patient to the operating theatre, I couldn't work out why the NHS always said they were strapped for cash. There was still a pound in his trolley.
I jumped off mine to go to the toilet and was sectioned because I was off my trolley
The wife and I were having sex when my wife said, "You're taking a very long time tonight. Do you think your alzheimers is starting to affect you?"
"Yes", I replied. "I can't remember what your sister looks like!"
I was playing strip poker with the wife earlier and have to admit I was cheating like f*ck.
It was the only way I could get her to keep her clothes on.
I'll never understand women.
First my wife agrees to a threesome, then she goes right off on one when I tell her it's ok for her to watch from inside the wardrobe