Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Hazardous out there driving today.

    driving.jpg
     
    #12381
  2. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  3. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    A man walks into an Ann Summers shop, and asks for a see through negligee, size 54-52-58.
    The assistant looks at him and says," Why the f*ck would you want to see through that?".
     
    #12383
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  6. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Advice needed!
    My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the loft.
    So I tried that last night, but their constant crying & whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves.
    Any other suggestions?
     
    #12386
  7. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Has anyone on here lost a kid's trampoline ?
    1001527-1481a5a817e6283387368af970b48df7.jpg
     
    #12388
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  10. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Cracking Black Friday deal from the Co-op.

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    #12390
    mrs em, Draig, cumbrianmackem and 4 others like this.

  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    When you can't let the cat go out because he might invade Poland.

    poland.jpg
     
    #12391
  12. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    I used to think Trampoline was an ointment the homeless rubbed on cuts and grazes <doh>
     
    #12392
  13. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    As I was pushing the patient to the operating theatre, I couldn't work out why the NHS always said they were strapped for cash. There was still a pound in his trolley.
     
    #12393
  14. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    I jumped off mine to go to the toilet and was sectioned because I was off my trolley <doh>
     
    #12394
  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    The wife and I were having sex when my wife said, "You're taking a very long time tonight. Do you think your alzheimers is starting to affect you?"
    "Yes", I replied. "I can't remember what your sister looks like!"
     
    #12395
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I was playing strip poker with the wife earlier and have to admit I was cheating like f*ck.
    It was the only way I could get her to keep her clothes on.
     
    #12396
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I'll never understand women.
    First my wife agrees to a threesome, then she goes right off on one when I tell her it's ok for her to watch from inside the wardrobe
     
    #12397
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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