Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    What health & safety ?
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    #11261
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  3. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    And the kale is grey…..
     
    #11263
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  5. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Years ago, I was doing an offshore survival course and the instructor asked the question "what steps would you take in the event of a fire"
    One of the lads on the course actually said "big, fast ones".
    It's always stuck in my mind that.
     
    #11265
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    additions..... is u is , i axe u, wot, no wot i meen, innit, wotcha, talk to da and, see ya,
     
    #11266
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    WELL WORTH A LISTEN

     
    #11267
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2021
    Draig and MrRAWhite like this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Skunk's new sponsor for next year . Tampax .The company's manager said "to sponsor a bunch of c***s during a bad period is exactly what this company's all about ".
     
    #11268
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Fairy Godmother gives a man 1 wish. He asks if he can live forever. The fairy godmother tells him that's the one wish that fairies are not aloud to grant.
    The man thinks a while..... and then asks if he can die when Newcastle win the Champions League. The fairy goes ...."you crafty bastard"
     
    #11269
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A Hindu, a Jew and a Newcastle fan are trekking over the Brecon Beacons in mid winter. The night is drawing in and the weather is getting worse. Just as hypothermia starts to get a grip they see a light shining from a distant farmhouse.

    Our cold but intrepid hikers approach the house and wake the farmer. The farmer is more than happy to put them up for the night, but explains he only has 2 beds spare in the house, but one can sleep in the barn.

    The Hindu selflessly puts himself forward to sleep in the barn to allow his friends some home comforts, so they all retire to their resting places.

    10 minutes later there's a knock on the farmers door. He opens the door to find the Hindu explaining "I cannot sleep in that barn, there is a cow in there - a sacred animal in my religion. I feel it would be travesty to my beliefs to sleep in a room where my religious icon also rests".

    Hearing this the Jew puts himself forward to change places with our Hindu friend.

    10 minutes later, there's another knock on the door. The farmer goes to find the Jew extremely upset. The Jew explains "I cannot possibly sleep in that barn.... there is a pig in there. A pig is regarded as a dirty animal in my religion - I would never sleep with such an animal!"

    Fortunately the Skunks fan decides to change places so they can all settle down for the night.

    However, 10 minuted later there's yet another knock on the door.

    The farmer gets really pissed off and rushes to the door, opens it and finds the cow and pig standing there saying " You can **** right off if you think we are sleeping with a gravy stained skunk twat!!"
     
    #11270

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    "So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
     
    #11271
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    "So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
     
    #11272
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I told the missis that I kept getting a burning sensation in my arse and didn't know what it was. She said "ring sting" I said, what makes you think he'll ****ing know?
     
    #11273
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Later they sit down and start chatting and Paddy tells mik about his recent parachute jump, Mick says wot was it like ? Paddy says well ill tell you , as the plane got higher i started to bottle it a bit but when i was last to get to the door i really **** myself ! but the jump instructor was a huge black man and he said if you don't jump im gonna stick my 14 inch dick up your arse ! Mick says did you jump ? Paddy says " a little bit when it first went in "..
     
    #11274
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  19. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Rare picture of the behind closed doors fight between Crouch and Rooney

    upload_2021-9-23_16-50-6.png
     
    #11279
  20. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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